Not all trust is created equal. Some trust lives in your head, built on logic and consistency. Other trust? It blooms in your heart, born from warmth and connection. I call these two types head trust and heart trust, and understanding the blend of both can transform how we lead, collaborate, and show up for one another.
Head trust sounds like this: “I trust her because she always follows through.” It’s grounded in reliability, competence, and good judgment. Head trust grows when people do what they say they’re going to do. It’s the kind of trust that makes you feel safe putting someone in charge of the numbers, the project, the car keys.
Heart trust, on the other hand, whispers: “I trust him because he truly listens.” It’s the emotional side of trust—rooted in empathy, care, and emotional availability. Heart trust shows up when someone remembers your coffee order, checks in after a hard day, or sits with you in silence without needing to fix anything.
Here’s where it gets interesting: we can actually map our trust experiences by looking at the levels of head and heart trust we feel toward someone. Think of it as a matrix, with head trust on one axis and heart trust on the other, ranging from low to high. The combination of these levels creates four distinct kinds of trust:
- Balanced Trust (High Head + High Heart): This is the gold standard. You believe in someone’s competence and feel emotionally safe with them. These are the relationships where trust multiplies and collaboration thrives.
- Emotional Trust (Low Head + High Heart): You feel a strong personal connection but question their reliability or competence. This can lead to warmth without results—and that can create friction when performance matters.
- Suspicious Trust (Low Head + Low Heart): Neither competence nor connection are present. This is where mistrust lives, and where collaboration tends to stall before it even starts.
Most of our deep, enduring relationships are built on some mix of head and heart trust. But the balance shapes how those relationships feel and function.
So next time you’re wondering why a relationship feels flat or fragile, ask yourself:
- Is the head trust strong, but the heart trust missing?
- Or is there heart, but not enough follow-through?
- Am I dealing with calculated, emotional, or even suspicious trust?
And most importantly:
- How can I offer both head and heart trust to the people around me?
Because trust isn’t just something we receive. It’s something we build—with our words, our actions, our presence. And when we build it with both head and heart, we don’t just create better teams.
We create better humans.
