Leading with Trust

The Leader is the Topic of Dinner Conversation – What is Your Team Saying About You?

As a leader, have you ever considered that you are often the topic of dinner conversations of your employees?

Think about it for a second in relation to your own life. How often do you find yourself talking to your spouse or family members over a meal about things that happened at work and how your boss treated you? It happens quite a bit, doesn’t it? So why wouldn’t your employees be doing the same thing in relation to you?

Viewing the impact of your leadership through the eyes of how your employees describe their workday can profoundly shape your leadership style and practices.

When your team members have dinner with their families, are they talking about:

  • How you micromanaged them to the point where they question their own competence and believe you must think they are idiots?
  • The only time you interact with them is when you find fault with something or have negative feedback to deliver?
  • How you only care about yourself and impressing your own boss?
  • You not having a clue about their jobs because you never took the time to learn what they do?
  • How untrustworthy you are because you frequently break your commitments?

Or does the dinner conversation of your team members center around:

  • How good you made them feel when you praised them for a job well done?
  • The faith you showed in them by giving them a challenging new project?
  • How you built trust by admitting your mistake in front of the team and apologizing for your behavior?
  • How you went to bat for your team by advocating for their needs with senior leadership?
  • The great example you set by jumping in to help the team meet a critical deadline?

I’m not suggesting the goal of your leadership style should be to make your employees your best buddies or send them home with warm fuzzies at night because you’re such a nice guy. We all know leadership is a tough gig. It’s not unicorns and rainbows every day.

What I am suggesting, however, is to view the ultimate impact of your leadership through the eyes of your employees. Start with the end in mind. What is the legacy you want to leave? What do you want team members saying about the impact of your leadership long after you no longer work together?

You know your team members will be talking about you over dinner. What do you want them to say?

The 1 Thing That Provides “Overdraft” Protection for Your Relationship Bank Accounts

Insufficient Funds—Maybe you’ve had that awkward experience when you’ve reviewed your bank account statement and discovered you made a purchase but didn’t actually have enough money in your account to cover it. Most likely you had overdraft protection on your account. That’s where the bank will advance you the money, allow the payment to be processed, but charge you an extra fee for covering your indiscretion. Overdraft protection is valuable insurance, because even though you may not intend to spend money you don’t have, sometimes you overdraw your account by mistake.

Sometimes we overdraw our relational bank accounts too. Careless words that hurt feelings, angry reactions that leave emotional scars, or broken promises that lead to disappointment…all examples of an overdrawn relational bank account.

Fortunately, we have overdraft protection for relationships and it’s called trust. I experienced this overdraft protection recently with a colleague at work. My coworker unintentionally said some things about me that were hurtful and not true, but since we had the overdraft protection of a high level of trust in our relationship, we were able to:

  • Address the issue directly – I confronted my colleague about what she said and was able to honestly share my feelings with the confidence it would lead to productively repairing the situation rather than making it worse.
  • Discuss the issue openly and honestly – Trust allowed us to talk about the issue objectively and without fear of reprisal. Our history of trust had demonstrated we were both committed to the value of the relationship and were willing to discuss the hard issues in a way that was respectful and honoring to each other.
  • Hear each other – It’s one thing to listen, it’s another to actually hear what’s being said. The trust we have in our relationship allowed us to hear one another. My colleague was able to hear how I felt about what she said and I was able to hear about what the intentions were behind her words.

Trust serves many purposes in a relationship. It’s the foundation of all successful, healthy relationships, and it’s also the fuel that powers relationships to higher levels of growth and intimacy. Trust is the lubrication that keeps relationships functioning smoothly, and thankfully, it’s the overdraft protection when relationships get overdrawn.

Leave a comment and feel free to share about your own experiences where trust has provided overdraft protection in your relationships.

Want to Attract Top Talent? Tell The Story!

Enjoy this guest post by Mark Miller

When working on the research and the book, Talent Magnet, I was intrigued by the formula representing the strength of an actual magnet:


The B refers to the strength of the magnetic field and the A is the Area (size of the surface).

Although all of this is applicable, I think many organizations are missing out on the A, or size of their magnet. Let me explain…

For our purposes, let’s transform the A from area to Awareness. Just like a magnet with a small surface area has limited pull, an organization with little Awareness of the employee value proposition has little drawing power. The bottom line: assuming you have a message worth sharing (B), you must Tell the Story! The better you do, the larger the Awareness and awareness always precedes attraction!

Unless there is awareness of the organization’s most desirable attributes outside your current employees, there is little chance Top Talent will wander in the door hoping to find a job. Organizations who consistently attract Top Talent excel in their ability to Tell the Story.

Leaders sometimes are deceived into thinking orientation is the place to Tell the Story. Orientation is too late. By then you have a room full of people who may or may not qualify as Top Talent. If you truly want to attract great people, you must proactively spread the word your business is a place where leaders are engaged, there is a path for people to grow, and there is a compelling vision that reaches beyond the four walls of the workplace.

There are many ways and many places to Tell the Story. Leaders must identify where Top Talent is likely to be and make sure the story spreads to those places. No matter how good you are, without creating awareness of what is going on in your organization, you receive no credit for your efforts.

Make the promise Top Talent wants to hear, keep it, and then make sure the people you are looking for know what they will get if they join your team. A magnet with a small surface area is weak, and your ability to attract Top Talent will be also, unless you find new and creative ways to continually Tell the Story.

About Mark Miller

Mark Miller is the best-selling author of seven books, an in-demand speaker and the Vice President of High-Performance Leadership at Chick-fil-A. His latest book, Talent Magnet: How to Attract and Keep the Best People, unveils the three critical aspects of a true talent magnet, and explores the deeper meaning of each in a clever and entertaining business fable.

A Positive Culture Starts With One Uplifting Person. Will That Be You?

Enjoy this guest post by Marcella Bremer

Have you ever worked in a positive culture? If you frown, then you haven’t! A positive culture gives people wings and swings results into a positive spiral. It “broadens and builds” people and organizations as Barbara Fredrickson researched. When people feel positive, they become more open and resourceful and achieve better results which reinforces the positivity. A positive culture contributes to the bottom line as positive organizations are engaged, innovative, competitive, agile, collaborative, and productive.

Isn’t that too good to be true? Well, no! Scientifically validated research shows that positive leadership (of yourself, and others) is the key to a positive culture and quantifiable positive outcomes.

This is important because many people don’t believe that a positive culture is possible. Maybe you started your work life optimistically, then you turned realistic and, finally, you may feel pessimistic or cynical because your workplace is far from positive. Yet, this is what companies such as Ford, Kelly Services, Burt’s Bees, Griffin Hospital, and Zingerman’s have been doing. They prove that you can create positive change in your organization through simple actions and attitude shifts.

What is a Positive Culture?

Positive leaders can change what is “normal” and all positive cultures have four ingredients. Based on positive psychology, positive cultures cherish an “abundance mindset.” There’s trust that there will be enough for everyone and aims to enlarge the pie instead of dividing its parts resulting in winners and losers. This first ingredient, Positive Awareness, helps to see more solutions, the half-full glass, and positive potential that is waiting to be realized. We are often used to aim for the default baseline: “We fix a problem to go back to normal”. Positive cultures aim for “positive deviance” where people are performing beyond expectations but without exhausting anyone or pushing too hard.

A positive culture builds on what is already working well. It appreciates people for their unique contributions. This is the second ingredient: Connection and Collaboration. It includes leadership basics such as connecting with and caring for people, being authentic and honest, communicating continuously and coaching people as well as stimulating them with compliments.

The third is a meaningful Shared Purpose that people like to contribute to, and the fourth part of positive cultures is Learning and Autonomy. People are trusted to do their work and even excel. People have choices and enjoy autonomy—no micro-management needed, no detailed instructions. Learning is the norm, and developing ideas together, learning from mistakes, and trying out things is appreciated. There’s no need to be perfect and no fear to “lose face.”

There’s only one requirement: that you engage and commit. When you work in a positive culture, you go “all in.”

What Positive Culture is Not

The issue with positive culture is that it can sound corny. “Positive means fake smiles, slacking off, and dreaming.” Let’s quickly look at these three common objections.

A positive culture stimulates people to be authentic at work so they can give their best. That includes off-days and occasional bad tempers. No need to fake a smile. Just be you and solve what you can solve – knowing that it will pass. Slacking off is the opposite of achieving positive deviance with a team. Positive leaders (and co-workers) give candid feedback to anyone who doesn’t contribute to the team as expected – and they try to help them improve.

Positive people might also be more realistic than cynics. Yes, really. Research shows that we’re wired to focus on the negative because that helped us survive physical dangers. Nowadays, it’s helpful to be able to see the positive potential that’s hiding in plain sight. No dreaming needed: stay grounded and work toward the best possible outcome.

What Can You Do?

So, what could you do to develop a more positive organization? What is interesting, is that organizations operate as non-linear networks. This means that you can influence your workplace. My book Developing a Positive Culture shares many tools to develop a more positive culture, with Interaction Interventions and/or Change Circles.

Culture happens when people get together because they copy, coach, and correct each other all the time. Culture is sustained in every interaction so if you start changing interaction patterns, you start to influence the system.

Interaction Interventions are small interactions that you can do on a daily basis to influence your meetings, co-workers, and eventually the organizational network. They are small but not insignificant, especially if you team up with like-minded co-workers. Interactions in meetings matter to the culture, so I share ways to make meetings more interactive and positive. I also share tools for leaders to work with their teams on values, purpose, positive challenges, and trust.

Next, there are Change Circles if you want to enroll the whole organization in culture change. This is a larger-scale approach that works if there’s attention for personal interactions in small groups that influence the culture.

Start with Kindness

So, how positive is your current contribution? What would happen if you role-model kindness, whatever your position at work? You understand that everyone tries their best, and everyone can make mistakes. So, you show compassion. You don’t take things too personally. It is safe to share “failures” or doubts with you.

You are present for your coworkers and teams. You give genuine attention. You give compliments. It costs nothing. All it takes is you: the best version of you. You can start today, no matter how busy you are or how challenging it may be to see something good in your coworkers.

But What If It Is Not Easy?

But what if you work in a corporate environment that does not “do” kindness? You may be labeled as weak, or you may be mocked. How kindness is perceived, depends on the current culture. Yes, being kind sometimes takes courage! Yet, a positive culture can start with one person who interacts kindly and offers a positive perspective… Are you going to be that uplifting example?

My book Developing a Positive Culture focuses on what you can personally do to develop a positive culture. Based on both research and practice, you’ll see how to engage your co-workers with Interaction Interventions or Change Circles. If you influence one person, one interaction at a time, you contribute to a more positive organization.

About Marcella Bremer

Marcella Bremer, MScBA, is an author and culture consultant. She is the author of Developing a Positive Culture Where People and Performance Thrive and co-founder of the online Positive Culture Academy. You can receive weekly inspiration to energize and engage your workplace from her blog, Leadership & Change Magazine.

Forget Work-Life Balance and Focus on These 5 Things Instead

Work-life balance is a fallacy.

The very term is an oxymoron. Is “work” something you do apart from your “life?” Does your “life” not consist of your “work?” And think about the definition of the word balance – “a state of equilibrium or equal distribution of weight or amount.” We have bought into the idea that having fulfillment in our personal and professional lives means we must give them equal weight and priority. It sets up a false dichotomy between the two choices and leads to perpetual feelings of guilt and remorse because we never feel like we’re giving 100% in either area.

Instead, we need to seek work-life harmony. Consider the definition of harmony – “a consistent, orderly, or pleasing arrangement of parts; congruity.” Work-life harmony is rooted in an integrated and holistic approach to life where work and play blend together in combinations unique to each individual. I can’t define what harmony looks like for you, but I can share five ways to help you discover it for yourself.

  1. Be clear about your purpose in life—First of all, you need to know that you matter. You are not here by accident. You were created for a purpose in life and there is no one else like you on this planet. Second, clarifying your purpose provides focus, direction, and energy to every area of your life. My life purpose is to use my gifts and abilities to be a servant leader and ambassador of God’s grace and truth.It’s the unifying force that energizes how I live, determines my priorities, illumines what’s truly valuable in life, and provides perspective and purpose to all I do. If you need help writing a personal mission/purpose statement, check out this five-step process from my friend and colleague Jesse Stoner.
  2. Seek contentment, not happinessOur society is good at selling the lie that you can have it all. We buy into the myth and then wonder why we’re discontent and unhappy when we discover it’s not possible to be the brilliant CEO, perfect parent, super coach of the sports team, and committed community volunteer. “Happiness” is the pop-psychology topic du-jour and there’s no shortage of literature and experts telling us that achieving happiness should be our primary goal in life. Happiness is dependent on your circumstances, whereas contentment comes from a deep-seated joy and satisfaction of living out your life purpose. Happiness is fine, but true work-life harmony comes when you find contentment. Happiness comes and goes; contentment sticks. 
  1. Understand the seasons of life—Life is defined by seasons, just as we see in nature as Spring leads to Summer, which turns to Fall, which gives way to Winter. In different seasons of our lives we will have different priorities. Whether it’s completing our education as young adults and getting established in our careers, to raising a family, to increasing our influence and impact in the work we do as seasoned veterans, or ushering in a new generation of leadership, our focus areas will ebb and flow. When driven by our sense of purpose, they all fit harmoniously together at the right time in the right way. 
  1. Establish reasonable boundaries—When you are clear on your life’s purpose, core values, and beliefs, you can make wise decisions about the use of your time, talent, and treasure. You can support work-life harmony by setting up systems and structures that keep you focused on the most important priorities in your life. The banks of a river provide the boundaries that support the direction and flow of the water. Without those boundaries, the river becomes nothing more than a large puddle. Setup healthy boundaries that keep you focused in the right direction. 
  1. Be present—Because we operate from a mindset of work-life balance instead of harmony, we tend to engage in a constant mental battle of worrying about how much time we’re devoting to one area of our life. It creates stress, tension, and guilt, because we always feel we’re out of balance, spending too much energy on one aspect of our lives at the expense of another. The result is we’re never fully present and invested in all areas of our life. When we’re at work we’re mentally consumed with what we should be doing at home. When we’re home we’re not engaged with our families because we’re preoccupied with what we need to do at work. Enough already! Being present and focused in the moment increases our joy and satisfaction tremendously which benefits us in all areas of our life.

Achieving work-life harmony isn’t easy. It involves trial and error, learning what works and what doesn’t. There is constant assessment and re-calibration of how you’re investing your time and energy, but the payoff is less stress, peace of mind, and increased devotion and passion toward all you do in life.

Failing to Take These 10 Actions Will Sink You As a Leader

Enjoy this guest post from Scott Mautz:

As a leader, you don’t want to be defined by the things you didn’t do.

It’s hard enough to get right what you are acting on, let alone worry about what you’ve missed. But there’s no shortage of Monday morning quarterbacks who will take pot shots at you for the plays you didn’t run.

So, here’s the rest of the playbook.

Take action on these painful omissions:

  1. Failure to decide—Indecision can paralyze an organization. It can create doubt, uncertainty, lack of focus, and even resentment. Multiple options linger, sapping an organization’s energy and killing a sense of completion. Timelines stretch while costs skyrocket. And as we vacillate competition can eat our lunch. Choosing not to decide is a choice, with consequences.
  2. Failure to resolve conflict in a timely fashion—Debate is a healthy and necessary component of everyday business. Sometimes debate can grow uncomfortable, which is OK if respect is maintained, and transparency is prevalent. It’s when the leader allows the debate to devolve to lingering conflict that trouble arises. Ill will can quickly build, reality can be distorted as both sides spiral into an “us vs. them” mentality, and inefficiency and stress surges. So, cut off disrespectful behavior. Deflate, not elevate, overly emotional behavior and channel unproductive passion into high-energy, team-oriented solutions. Asking the troops to “work it out” is a cop out; sometimes you’ve got to dig in and mediate.
  3. Failure to reward and recognize—A missed opportunity to recognize is a missed opportunity to energize. The bottom line is that failure to reward and recognize creates doubts in employee’s minds. They wonder, “Am I working on the right things?”, “Does my leader notice my efforts and accomplishments, or even care?”, “Are my efforts not up to his/her standards?” It can manifest itself as a plain ol’ fashion lack of feeling appreciated. And all of this leads to a lack of feeling motivated.
  4. Failure to inform—It’s difficult enough to gain competitive intelligence, why would we withhold our own? And it happens far too often. How many times have you been on a team, found out something too late, and thought, “It would have been nice to know that a month ago”? As leaders, when we withhold information or don’t make the time investment to openly share critical information, we handicap our organizations.
  5. Failure to proactively manage change—If left to their own devices, employees often make the worst of change. Organizational psychologists have discovered that if employees can’t make a link between change and their own personal goals and values, intrinsic motivation to embrace that change will be absent. So, have a plan to manage change, including enrolling the affected in the change, equipping them for it, and making a clear case for change in the first place.
  6. Failure to take accountability—Nothing is more un-leader-like then when a leader misses the opportunity to stand up and take accountability, or worse yet, openly deflects it. There’s no recovery from this. The troops expect it from you. And even when you’re not accountable by personal involvement, you are by position power. Own it.
  7. Failure to address under-performers—Rotten apples can spoil the orchard. Nothing may be more frustrating for employees, especially high-performers, then when the dead-weight is allowed to continually burden the organization without retribution. Such individuals grow like a cancer and take with them the morale and sense of fairness in the group. Get after it.
  8. Failure to see around corners—The best leaders spend substantive time seeing around corners, proactively anticipating and addressing problems. They do this by understanding their industry, understanding competitors, asking “What if?” Having such a mindset forces them out of day-to-day operations that others can do much better (and want to be left alone to do much better).
  9. Failure to react quickly enough in crisis—Complacency has no place in great leadership. Be productively paranoid. At the first sign of a crisis, gather your core team of thinkers/problems solvers and ninja team of executors. Communicate quickly and frequently.  Mostly, act, don’t ignore.
  10. Failure to make an effort to connect—I once had a boss who said, “The door is always open.” The problem was the lower half was shut, like a bank teller counter, preventing me from ever really getting close enough to connect. People can read a lack of compassion and warmth a mile away, and they’ll stay a mile away when they sense it. So make the effort – it will make a difference.

Think of this post as a call to action to avoid damaging inaction.

About Scott Mautz

Scott Mautz is the CEO of Profound Performance and a veteran of Procter & Gamble. Scott is also the author of Find the Fire: Ignite Your Inspiration and Make Work Exciting Again and Make it Matter: How Managers Can Motivate by Creating Meaning.

Reflections on the 2018 Edelman Trust Barometer

My fellow trust activist, Dominique O’Rourke, recently published her reflections on the results of the 2018 Edelman Trust Barometer. I enjoyed her “straight talk” perspective and agree with her conclusions.


There are obvious steps leaders can take to address the crisis of trust in our major institutions, but it requires strength of character to do the right thing. Often times the right choice flies in the face of the easiest or most popular path endorsed by those who tend to benefit the most from the decision being made. It’s time for leaders of all organizations to quit focusing on self-interest, stop appeasing the desires of the most powerful, and start serving the greater good of all stakeholders.


We don’t have a crisis of trust so much as we have a crisis of untrustworthy leaders.

Accolade Communications

“A Battle for Truth” and “Trust Crash in the U.S.” proclaimed last week’s 2018 Edelman Trust Barometer. Then, the usual, ridiculous hand-wringing ensued. Yet, there’s plenty of research in business strategy and ethics that points the way out of this quagmire; and it’s not the inter-personal stuff you may be familiar with. I’m talking real business practices and systems that make your organization more trustworthy and therefore, more trusted. Trust has tangible bottom-line benefits.

The need for macro-level trust interventions is urgent. Here’s what  scholars Reinhardt Bachmann and Andrew Inkpen pointed out in the wake of the 2007-2008 financial crisis.

Clearly, the problem has not emerged in that trust has broken down at the micro-level, i.e. in relationships where individuals know each other face-to-face. The trust crisis is essentially due to a breakdown of macro-level trust, i.e. trust in (large) organizations. This is why we urgently need to know more…

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