Giving effective feedback on behavior or performance strikes fear in the heart of many leaders. This past week I spoke on this topic at the Ken Blanchard College of Business at Grand Canyon University, and when I asked audience members why this was the case, I heard reasons like this: fear of confrontation, a desire to avoid conflict, uncertainty about the way the receiver will react, or a lack of confidence and competence in their own abilities to deliver feedback in a constructive, positive way.
Receiving feedback is a natural part of life and it allows us to interpret our behavior and circumstances and make any necessary adjustments. If you touch a hot stove, what happens? You feel the heat and burn your fingers…that’s feedback! If you play golf and hit your drive into the pond…that’s feedback! If you make your wife angry and she forces you to sleep on the couch…that’s feedback! (And the subject of a different blog!)
Feedback is information about past behavior, delivered in the present, which may influence future behavior. Before you deliver feedback, you should assess the quality of the relationship with the receiver. Is there mutual respect and a good level of trust? Have you given feedback to this person before? If so, how did he/she react? Do you know their story – hopes, fears, struggles, family background – that influence the way they “show up” at work? If you don’t have a solid relationship with the receiver, the feedback will probably fall on deaf ears. Work on improving the relationship before delivering the feedback.
You should also check your motives before delivering feedback. Are you giving information, making a request, or making a demand? Are you hoping to improve the person’s performance or satisfying your ego by making a point? Make sure your motives are in the right place before delivering the feedback. Also, make sure there was clarity on the goals, roles, or expectations on the part of the receiver. It’s not fair to give someone feedback on their performance if they weren’t clear on what was expected in the first place. Leaders have to take responsibility for examining whether or not they set the receiver up for success or failure.
Once you’ve prepared, make sure you’re clear on the right type of feedback you need to deliver to produce the results you desire. There are four basic types of feedback:
- Feedback on “What”—Feedback that provides objective information about results, end product(s), or outcomes
- Feedback on “How”—Feedback that provides objective information about the process or way results are obtained
- Praise—Emotion-revealing feedback designed to encourage certain desired behavior in the future
- Disapproval—Emotion-revealing feedback designed to extinguish certain undesired behavior in the future
When you’re ready to deliver the feedback, it’s important you follow these basic guidelines:
- Give feedback on behaviors that can be changed, not on traits or personality. For example, saying “Sally, the way you interacted with that customer was unprofessional” isn’t very helpful in allowing Sally to know what to do differently. “Sally, you need to say ‘Hello’ to each customer when they walk through the door, introduce yourself by name, and offer to answer any questions” is much more specific and helpful to Sally.
- Be specific and descriptive, don’t generalize. Think of giving feedback as the front page of the newspaper, not the editorial page. Keep it focused, concise, and to the point and avoid rambling or going off on tangents.
- If possible, give feedback immediately. Perceptions change over the course of time and opens the door to misunderstandings or different interpretations of events. The longer you wait between the time the behavior occurs and when you give feedback, you run the risk of the “leave alone, ZAP!” problem: the receiver thinks everything is fine until, ZAP!, he/she gets zinged with some feedback about something that happened long ago. That creates resentment, animosity, and erodes trust.
- Control the context. Choose the right time of day, a neutral location, be calm, keep your emotions in check, and regulate your body language to make sure you provide an environment that will support the success of your message and not hinder it.
- Make it relevant and about moving forward. Dwelling on past behaviors or events that are unlikely to reoccur damages trust and inhibits your ability to provide constructive feedback in the future. Keep the feedback relevant to the situation at hand and focus on what needs to change in the future.
Trust earns you the right to give feedback, and trusted leaders have learned to deliver feedback in a way that enhances the relationships with their people as well as improves their performance. If leaders are committed to building trust and following these common sense guidelines, they need not have any fear about giving feedback.
Great post! I love the comparison between the front page and editorial page of the newspaper. That makes it easy to remember.
Thanks Jamie! That’s been a helpful analogy for me too! Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
Great post. Thanks. Shared with my team. Always a struggle / challenge to make this an excellent experience that inspires change rather than a duty that must be performed.
Ahh, you’re right about that! Why is it we always think in the negative when it comes to giving feedback? Skillful leaders have learned the art and science of giving feedback so that it’s well received.
Thanks for your comments!
Great post, Randy! Two points that are essential – Understand your motives and Focus on behaviors, not traits. All your points are relevant, but these two, in particular, are often missed. Taking that deep breath to really understand why you are giving this feedback will ensure intentions are solid. Focusing on what can be changed will raise the chance for change. Thanks for the practical and insightful advice on feedback! Jon
Thanks for your wonderful comments, Jon. I agree with you on those important points. For me, I especially have to check my motives. Am I giving this feedback to make myself look good? Am I trying to prove a point? Or am I truly motivated to help the receiver improve or change their behavior/performance? Tough questions to ask and answer.
As always, thanks for your articulate insights.
Excellent guidelines. I think it is also important that it is a two way conversation and that you listen to the feedback receivers point of view. Once you have provided feedback and listened you are in a position to move forward.
Great input Bette! I think having a two-way conversation opens the door to both parties gaining insights into the situation and offers the best chance for success moving forward.
Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
I like the comment that feedback can only be given in a relationship built on trust and if trust is not there, it’s best to work on that first. This is absolutely true. Its up to the leader to start that process first.
I like to rely on “needs” to give and receive feedback. I also agree with the above comments that feedback must go both ways. “I need this project to be completed on time, what do you need to make that happen?” If we create dialogue on the issues and if both parties follow through on their agreements, feedback should become a positive experience instead of riddled with potential for conflict.
Great post! Thanks!
Hi Stacey. Relying on the “needs” of the person involved is a great way to keep the feedback focused on the present situation and the steps that are needed to move forward. I’m glad you found the blog helpful.
Thanks for taking the time to comment. Have a great day!