The Leadership Superpower That Builds Trust and Connection
If you could have any superpower in the world that would help you be a better leader, what would it be?
Mind-control could be a good choice. Manipulating people’s minds to make them do what you want would certainly make your job easier. Or how about super-intelligence? If you were the smartest person in the room, you could shortcut all the inane problem-solving discussion and just tell everyone the answer. That would definitely improve productivity, wouldn’t it? Or maybe you’d like an out-of-this-world dose of charisma that would allow you to inspire your followers to charge through a brick wall to achieve the vision you laid before them. All of those abilities sound wonderful, but we know that superpowers don’t exist, right?
Well, according to neuroscientist Matthew Lieberman, Ph.D., we all have a very specific superpower, but most of us fail to recognize it as such. What is this leadership superpower? It’s your social skills.
What? Social skills are a leadership superpower? Are you kidding me?
Nope, I’m not kidding. And I believe it, too. In 22 years of working for The Ken Blanchard Companies, I can tell you that one of the top reasons organizations bring us in to work with their leaders is because they don’t have the social skills needed to lead others. To illustrate, let me ask you a question: Who is it that usually gets promoted to a leadership role? The star performer, of course. Well, just because someone is a superstar as an individual contributor, doesn’t mean she will be a superstar leader. Leadership is a whole different ballgame where success or failure usually hinges on a person’s social skills.
In particular, your social skills are critical to creating stronger bonds of relational connection that results in higher levels of trust with others.
There is an epidemic of loneliness in America, and our workplaces are in dire need of greater relational connection. My friend Mike Stallard, is an author, speaker, and expert on human connection in corporate cultures and how it affects the health and performance of individuals and organizations. He recently wrote about this challenge and the benefits organizations can achieve if they improve human connection. Stallard points out that stronger bonds of human connection in the workplace boosts the cognitive firepower of employees, increases employee engagement, tightens strategic alignment, improves decision-making quality and boosts the rate of innovation.
Connection not only addresses the problems of loneliness and its ill effects, it also builds trust. In fact, connection is one of the four key elements of trust in a relationship.
Connection is about caring for others. When people see that you act with goodwill, that you have their best interests in mind, they are more apt to trust you. They trust your intentions because they believe you won’t do anything to intentionally try to harm them. Connection also builds trust through open communication. Sharing information about yourself and the organization shows people that you don’t have any hidden agendas. People see that you don’t use information as power, and you don’t withhold it in an attempt to retain power over them. You can also build connection through rapport. In Stallard’s article, he cites the example of a Costco manager who builds rapport by making it a point to remember the names and something memorable about all 280 of his employees.
Trust is important because it’s the magic ingredient of organizational success. It acts as both the lubrication that keeps organization’s running smoothly as well as the glue that holds it all together. Research has repeatedly shown that high levels of trust in organizations lead to higher revenues, profit, innovation, engagement, and lower costs related to turnover, accidents, sick-leave, and employee theft.
So forget about wishing for the superpowers of mind-control, super-intelligence, or hyper-charisma. You’ve already got a superpower and didn’t even realize it. Now it’s time to put it to work.