Leading with Trust

Forget Work-Life Balance and Focus on These 5 Things Instead

Work-life balance is a fallacy.

The very term is an oxymoron. Is “work” something you do apart from your “life?” Does your “life” not consist of your “work?” And think about the definition of the word balance – “a state of equilibrium or equal distribution of weight or amount.” We have bought into the idea that having fulfillment in our personal and professional lives means we must give them equal weight and priority. It sets up a false dichotomy between the two choices and leads to perpetual feelings of guilt and remorse because we never feel like we’re giving 100% in either area.

Instead, we need to seek work-life harmony. Consider the definition of harmony – “a consistent, orderly, or pleasing arrangement of parts; congruity.” Work-life harmony is rooted in an integrated and holistic approach to life where work and play blend together in combinations unique to each individual. I can’t define what harmony looks like for you, but I can share five ways to help you discover it for yourself.

  1. Be clear about your purpose in life—First of all, you need to know that you matter. You are not here by accident. You were created for a purpose in life and there is no one else like you on this planet. Second, clarifying your purpose provides focus, direction, and energy to every area of your life. My life purpose is to use my gifts and abilities to be a servant leader and ambassador of God’s grace and truth.It’s the unifying force that energizes how I live, determines my priorities, illumines what’s truly valuable in life, and provides perspective and purpose to all I do. If you need help writing a personal mission/purpose statement, check out this five-step process from my friend and colleague Jesse Stoner.
  2. Seek contentment, not happiness—Our society is good at selling the lie that you can have it all. We buy into the myth and then wonder why we’re discontent and unhappy when we discover it’s not possible to be the brilliant CEO, perfect parent, super coach of the sports team, and committed community volunteer. “Happiness” is the pop-psychology topic du-jour and there’s no shortage of literature and experts telling us that achieving happiness should be our primary goal in life. Happiness is dependent on your circumstances, whereas contentment comes from a deep-seated joy and satisfaction of living out your life purpose. Happiness is fine, but true work-life harmony comes when you find contentment. Happiness comes and goes; contentment sticks. 
  1. Understand the seasons of life—Life is defined by seasons, just as we see in nature as Spring leads to Summer, which turns to Fall, which gives way to Winter. In different seasons of our lives we will have different priorities. Whether it’s completing our education as young adults and getting established in our careers, to raising a family, to increasing our influence and impact in the work we do as seasoned veterans, or ushering in a new generation of leadership, our focus areas will ebb and flow. When driven by our sense of purpose, they all fit harmoniously together at the right time in the right way. 
  1. Establish reasonable boundaries—When you are clear on your life’s purpose, core values, and beliefs, you can make wise decisions about the use of your time, talent, and treasure. You can support work-life harmony by setting up systems and structures that keep you focused on the most important priorities in your life. The banks of a river provide the boundaries that support the direction and flow of the water. Without those boundaries, the river becomes nothing more than a large puddle. Setup healthy boundaries that keep you focused in the right direction. 
  1. Be present—Because we operate from a mindset of work-life balance instead of harmony, we tend to engage in a constant mental battle of worrying about how much time we’re devoting to one area of our life. It creates stress, tension, and guilt, because we always feel we’re out of balance, spending too much energy on one aspect of our lives at the expense of another. The result is we’re never fully present and invested in all areas of our life. When we’re at work we’re mentally consumed with what we should be doing at home. When we’re home we’re not engaged with our families because we’re preoccupied with what we need to do at work. Enough already! Being present and focused in the moment increases our joy and satisfaction tremendously which benefits us in all areas of our life.

Achieving work-life harmony isn’t easy. It involves trial and error, learning what works and what doesn’t. There is constant assessment and re-calibration of how you’re investing your time and energy, but the payoff is less stress, peace of mind, and increased devotion and passion toward all you do in life.

 10 Comments

 Posted on February 18, 2018 by

 Balance, Purpose, Success

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Failing to Take These 10 Actions Will Sink You As a Leader

Enjoy this guest post from Scott Mautz:

As a leader, you don’t want to be defined by the things you didn’t do.

It’s hard enough to get right what you are acting on, let alone worry about what you’ve missed. But there’s no shortage of Monday morning quarterbacks who will take pot shots at you for the plays you didn’t run.

So, here’s the rest of the playbook.

Take action on these painful omissions:

  1. Failure to decide—Indecision can paralyze an organization. It can create doubt, uncertainty, lack of focus, and even resentment. Multiple options linger, sapping an organization’s energy and killing a sense of completion. Timelines stretch while costs skyrocket. And as we vacillate competition can eat our lunch. Choosing not to decide is a choice, with consequences.
  2. Failure to resolve conflict in a timely fashion—Debate is a healthy and necessary component of everyday business. Sometimes debate can grow uncomfortable, which is OK if respect is maintained, and transparency is prevalent. It’s when the leader allows the debate to devolve to lingering conflict that trouble arises. Ill will can quickly build, reality can be distorted as both sides spiral into an “us vs. them” mentality, and inefficiency and stress surges. So, cut off disrespectful behavior. Deflate, not elevate, overly emotional behavior and channel unproductive passion into high-energy, team-oriented solutions. Asking the troops to “work it out” is a cop out; sometimes you’ve got to dig in and mediate.
  3. Failure to reward and recognize—A missed opportunity to recognize is a missed opportunity to energize. The bottom line is that failure to reward and recognize creates doubts in employee’s minds. They wonder, “Am I working on the right things?”, “Does my leader notice my efforts and accomplishments, or even care?”, “Are my efforts not up to his/her standards?” It can manifest itself as a plain ol’ fashion lack of feeling appreciated. And all of this leads to a lack of feeling motivated.
  4. Failure to inform—It’s difficult enough to gain competitive intelligence, why would we withhold our own? And it happens far too often. How many times have you been on a team, found out something too late, and thought, “It would have been nice to know that a month ago”? As leaders, when we withhold information or don’t make the time investment to openly share critical information, we handicap our organizations.
  5. Failure to proactively manage change—If left to their own devices, employees often make the worst of change. Organizational psychologists have discovered that if employees can’t make a link between change and their own personal goals and values, intrinsic motivation to embrace that change will be absent. So, have a plan to manage change, including enrolling the affected in the change, equipping them for it, and making a clear case for change in the first place.
  6. Failure to take accountability—Nothing is more un-leader-like then when a leader misses the opportunity to stand up and take accountability, or worse yet, openly deflects it. There’s no recovery from this. The troops expect it from you. And even when you’re not accountable by personal involvement, you are by position power. Own it.
  7. Failure to address under-performers—Rotten apples can spoil the orchard. Nothing may be more frustrating for employees, especially high-performers, then when the dead-weight is allowed to continually burden the organization without retribution. Such individuals grow like a cancer and take with them the morale and sense of fairness in the group. Get after it.
  8. Failure to see around corners—The best leaders spend substantive time seeing around corners, proactively anticipating and addressing problems. They do this by understanding their industry, understanding competitors, asking “What if?” Having such a mindset forces them out of day-to-day operations that others can do much better (and want to be left alone to do much better).
  9. Failure to react quickly enough in crisis—Complacency has no place in great leadership. Be productively paranoid. At the first sign of a crisis, gather your core team of thinkers/problems solvers and ninja team of executors. Communicate quickly and frequently.  Mostly, act, don’t ignore.
  10. Failure to make an effort to connect—I once had a boss who said, “The door is always open.” The problem was the lower half was shut, like a bank teller counter, preventing me from ever really getting close enough to connect. People can read a lack of compassion and warmth a mile away, and they’ll stay a mile away when they sense it. So make the effort – it will make a difference.

Think of this post as a call to action to avoid damaging inaction.

About Scott Mautz

Scott Mautz is the CEO of Profound Performance and a veteran of Procter & Gamble. Scott is also the author of Find the Fire: Ignite Your Inspiration and Make Work Exciting Again and Make it Matter: How Managers Can Motivate by Creating Meaning.

 2 Comments

 Posted on February 11, 2018 by

 Leadership, Success

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Reflections on the 2018 Edelman Trust Barometer

My fellow trust activist, Dominique O’Rourke, recently published her reflections on the results of the 2018 Edelman Trust Barometer. I enjoyed her “straight talk” perspective and agree with her conclusions.

 

There are obvious steps leaders can take to address the crisis of trust in our major institutions, but it requires strength of character to do the right thing. Often times the right choice flies in the face of the easiest or most popular path endorsed by those who tend to benefit the most from the decision being made. It’s time for leaders of all organizations to quit focusing on self-interest, stop appeasing the desires of the most powerful, and start serving the greater good of all stakeholders.

 

We don’t have a crisis of trust so much as we have a crisis of untrustworthy leaders.

 2 Comments

 Posted on February 4, 2018 by

 Trust

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The 2 Beliefs That Derail Well-Meaning Leaders

Best-selling business author Ken Blanchard believes leadership is an inside-out proposition.

“It begins by asking yourself a tough question: ‘Am I here to serve or be served?’” he says. According to Blanchard, the answer to this question will reveal your fundamental approach to leadership.

“If you believe leadership is all about you, where you want to go, and what you want to attain, then your leadership by default will be more self-focused and self-centered. On the other hand, if your leadership revolves around meeting the needs of the organization and the people working for it, you will make different choices that will reveal a more others-focused approach.”

Blanchard believes the best leaders have a servant leadership philosophy. He explains that servant leadership requires a two-pronged approach that combines strategic leadership—vision and direction—with operational leadership—strong day-to-day management practices.

“At its core, servant leadership means that once vision and direction are set, the organizational pyramid is turned upside-down and leaders work for their people.”

There are two beliefs that can derail you from being a successful servant leader, according to Blanchard.

“One is false pride—when you think more of yourself than you should. When this occurs, leaders spend most of their time looking for ways to promote themselves. The other is fear and self-doubt—when you think less of yourself than you should. These leaders spend their time constantly trying to protect themselves.”

Surprisingly, the root cause of both behaviors is the same, explains Blanchard: “The ego. It’s just part of the human condition. Any time I hear someone say that their ego has never gotten in their way, that they are never prideful and never experience self-doubt, I usually say, half-jokingly, ‘I’ll bet you lie about other things, too.’ We all have times when we get off track.”

To help executives identify ways that ego may impact their leadership, Blanchard often incorporates an “Egos Anonymous” exercise into some of his work with clients.

“The Egos Anonymous session begins with each person standing up and saying, ‘Hi, I’m Ken, and I’m an egomaniac. The last time my ego got in the way was …’ And then they share a false pride or self-doubt moment or example.”

Egos Anonymous sessions have become so popular with executives that some use the technique to kick off meetings back at their workplace.

“They find it really helps their teams operate more freely,” says Blanchard. “It’s very powerful when people can share their vulnerability and be more authentic and transparent with one another.”

For leaders looking to get started with an inside-out approach to addressing and improving their leadership abilities, Blanchard has one final question: “What are you doing on a daily basis to recalibrate who you want to be in the world?

“Most people don’t think about that. This could include how you enter your day, what you read, what you study—everything that contributes in a positive sense to who you are.

“Consider your daily habits and their impact on your life. Take time to explore who you are, who you want to be, and what steps you can take on a daily basis to get closer to becoming your best self. Your leadership journey begins on the inside—but, ultimately, it will have a tremendous impact on the people around you.”

PS: Would you like to learn more about servant leadership principles and how to apply them in your organization?  Join Ken Blanchard for a free online event February 28.  The Servant Leadership in Action Livecast will feature more than 20 thought leaders and business executives sharing how they have successfully implemented servant leadership principles in their organizations.  The event is free, courtesy of Berrett-Koehler Publishers and The Ken Blanchard Companies.  Learn more here!

This article was authored by David Witt and originally appeared on LeaderChat.org.

 1 Comment

 Posted on January 28, 2018 by

 Fear, Leadership, Servant Leadership

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The 1 Question All Leaders Must Ask Themselves

Are you here to serve or be served? That question gets to the heart of what motivates you as a leader.

Not to oversimplify the issue (although I’m going to!), but there are two basic kinds of leaders: those who are self-serving and those who serve others. The key difference is the mindset of the leader. The self-serving leader views her role primarily through a self-focused lens. She is motivated to lead as a means to accomplish her goals. She sees leadership as a way to obtain power, status, and influence, all valuable tools to help her make her way in the corporate world.

The serving leader, on the other hand, views her leadership as a way to help others. She is focused on facilitating the growth and success of her followers so they can accomplish their goals and those of the organization. She views her power, status, and influence as instruments to facilitate the success of others.

The majority of leaders I’ve encountered in my career have not consciously considered this question. I think it’s because most people fall into leadership positions without much forethought. They excel in their roles as individual contributors, get promoted to manager, and then learn on the job how to lead others. It’s the minority of leaders who intentionally consider this question, answer it, and pursue leadership positions with purpose and focus.

On February 28th you have an opportunity to ask yourself this question and to learn from others who have already answered it and experienced the success of servant leadership. Ken Blanchard will host the Servant Leadership in Action livecast and he’ll be joined by 20 other leadership experts who will do an in-depth examination of what it means to be a serving leader.

Our world is in desperate need of a new model of leadership. We’ve all seen the negative impacts of self-serving leaders and the harm they cause our organizations. Decades of research and experience have shown servant leadership is the way to achieve lasting success that brings out the best in people and organizations. I encourage you to attend the Servant Leadership in Action livecast and answer this question once and for all: Are you here to serve or be served?

 2 Comments

 Posted on January 21, 2018 by

 Leadership, Servant Leadership

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If You Want Employee Accountability, Keep Them IN the Box

“We want you to act like owners.” How many times have you heard that phrase thrown around in organizations? As a leader, you’ve probably uttered those words, or similar ones, many times in the past. We all want employees who live and breathe accountability. It’s one of the key factors that set high performers apart from low or average ones.

We want employees to act like owners, but many times we discourage their accountability by treating them like renters. How so? We discourage accountability when we micromanage. Telling people what to do, how to do it, and insisting they do it our way thwarts their autonomy. We also prevent accountability when we shelter people from the consequences of their actions. We’ve let the pendulum swing too far to the side of wanting everyone to feel good about themselves no matter their level of performance. Everyone should get a trophy just for giving a good effort, right?

So as a result, we have developed employees who have the mindset of renters, not owners. You know what that looks like, right? The employee waits around for the boss to make the decision, rather than stepping out on their own initiative. They do a decent enough job, but often nothing spectacular; just enough to get by. They are content to point out problems, but don’t take the extra step to solve the problem themselves or offer suggestions on how to do so.

In their new book, Counter Mentor Leadership—How to Unlock the Potential of the 4-Generation Workplace, my friends Kelly Riggs and Robby Riggs define accountability in a straight-forward way: the process of taking a personal interest in—owning—the results, as opposed to making excuses for mistakes and looking for something or someone to blame. They emphasize that accountability is an attitude, one that is cultivated, modeled, and instilled in others by a good leader.

The Riggs duo suggest leaders can help employees foster a mindset of accountability by putting them back in the box.

Whoa! Wait a minute! Did you say back IN the box? Yes, that’s right. Back IN the box…the Freedom Box.

The Freedom Box is about setting a perimeter within which the employee has complete autonomy to roam. The size of the box is proportional to the employee’s individual competence and commitment to take ownership of producing results. By definition, the box will be a bit different for each person. Using language from our SLII® model, on particular goals or tasks some people are Development Level 4 (D4) Self Reliant Achievers (highly competent and committed), while others are Development Level 1 Enthusiastic Beginners (low competence and commitment). The D4’s box is going to look a whole lot different than the D1’s box.

There are four primary boundaries of the Freedom Box:

  • Company values and/or guiding principles. Your values determine what behavior is or isn’t acceptable in the workplace. If you don’t have values with behavioral definitions, this is where you want to start. It’s the foundation of how you want people to perform.
  • Expectations. Ken Blanchard has long stated that “All good performance starts with clear goals.” If employees don’t have clearly defined goals, how are they supposed to know what a good job looks like? It’s hard to exhibit ownership over ill-defined, nebulous goals.
  • Level of authority. An employee’s level of authority in the Freedom Box should be determined by their demonstrated capabilities. Riggs and Riggs share four common-sense levels of authority:
    • Level 1—Check with me before you do anything. For rookies who are just learning.
    • Level 2—Make the decision, but check with me prior to implementation. For those still learning on the job and need practice.
    • Level 3—Make and implement the decision, but keep me in the loop. For employees who are experienced and demonstrate good judgment.
    • Level 4—The buck stops with you. Seasoned veterans who are highly trusted and experts in their domain.
  • Performance standards and metrics. Employees need standards of performance that defines the measure of success. Success should not be defined by solely what is achieved, but also how it is achieved.

Accountability is a mindset of people who are personally invested in their work. It’s not something the leader can force upon an individual. We as leaders need to be careful that we aren’t unintentionally hindering our people from developing their own resilience to be accountable. When we take away the pain, thwart initiative, don’t reward appropriate risk-tasking, and withhold honest feedback, we prevent our people from stepping into accountability. The Freedom Box is a helpful process for how leaders can put people IN the box in order to help them develop accountability.

 7 Comments

 Posted on January 14, 2018 by

 Accountability, Leadership, Responsibility

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Who Do You Choose To Be In 2018? 6 Areas to Examine

Here we are, one week into the new year. Many people are emerging from their holiday cocoons to re-engage with the real world, now that it’s time to head back to work, school, and the routine of life. But before you hop back on that hamster wheel, why not take some time to consider who you want to be in 2018?

I recently read an article by Margaret Wheatley, published in the Summer 2017 issue of Leader to Leader Magazine, in which she poses several insightful questions to help us think about how we want to influence others through our leadership. We live in a crazy and chaotic world that only seems to grow more so by the day. It’s hard not to become pessimistic about the state of our world and our ability to create positive change. However, the one area we have the most control over is our own sphere of influence. We can choose the kind of leaders we want to be. We can choose how we want to show up each day. We can choose how we treat people under our care. But first, we have to be clear on the kind of leaders we want to be. Use these questions to think about the kind of leader you want to be in 2018:

Quality of Relationships: How are you relating to those around you? Is trust increasing or decreasing? Are you investing more or less time in developing strong relationships? Are people more or less self-protective and what can you do to increase a sense of safety in your group? Are you willing to go the extra mile or not? What is the evidence for your answers?

Fear versus Love: Examine your relationships and see if there are patterns that illustrate the growth of fear or love. In your leadership, what role does fear play? Are you using fear as a lever to ensure compliance? Do you believe there is a place for love in leadership? Would the people in your sphere of influence say you lead with love or fear?

Quality of Thinking: How difficult is it to find time to think, personally and with others? Do you consider “busyness” a badge of honor (it isn’t!)? Are you in control of your calendar or does your calendar control you? How would you assess the level of learning in your organization? Are you applying what you’ve learned? Is long-term thinking still happening in conversations, decision-making, or planning?

Willingness to Contribute: What invitations to contribute have you extended and why? How have people responded? Ongoing, what are your expectations for people being willing to step forward? Are those higher or lower than a few years ago?

The Role of Money: How big an influence, as a percentage of other criteria, do financial issues have on decisions? Has money become a motivator for you? For staff? Has selfishness replaced service? What’s your evidence?

Crisis Management: What do you do when something goes wrong? Do leaders retreat or gather people together? How well do you communicate during crises? Are you prone to share information or withhold it? Do you use challenges as an opportunity to build trust and resilience? Are your values evident in the decisions you make in the heat of the moment?

Margaret and I share the same view that leadership is a noble calling. Leaders are entrusted to care for those under their charge and to help them develop to their full potential. We can’t fulfill that noble purpose if our head is constantly down and our eyes focused just on today’s to-do list. We need to lift our eyes up, gaze into the future, and thoughtfully consider how we want to grow as leaders. These categories of questions offer an excellent starting point for somber introspection. So before you rush off into 2018, getting busy with all of your plans and goals, pause for a bit to consider who you actually want to be in the year ahead.

Here’s to a great 2018!

 5 Comments

 Posted on January 7, 2018 by

 Career Growth, Leadership, Learning, Relationships, Success

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Connecting the Dots: Trust, Leadership, and Engagement

pexels-photo-681335.jpegThe ability to build and sustain high levels of trust and engagement is a critical competency for today’s leaders. In our technology-fueled, digitally connected world where new products, competitors, and business models seemingly emerge overnight, one of the few competitive advantages organizations possess is their people. The skills, talents, creativity, innovation, and passion of its people can be the difference between organizations achieving exceptional performance or wallowing in mediocrity. In order to come out on the winning side of this challenge, organizations must connect the dots between trust, leadership, and engagement. Trust is the foundation, leadership is the driver, and engagement is the goal.

The Foundation of Trust

Trust is the foundation of any successful, healthy, thriving relationship and it’s essential to your success as a leader. Without trust your leadership is doomed. Creativity is stifled, innovation grinds to a halt, and reasoned risk-taking is abandoned. People check their hearts and minds at the door, leaving you with a staff that has quit mentally and emotionally but stayed on the payroll, sucking precious resources from your organization.

Booster and Buster TableHowever, with trust, all things are possible. Energy, progress, productivity, and ingenuity flourish. Commitment, engagement, loyalty, and excellence become more than empty words in a company mission statement; they become reality. Trust has been called the “magic” ingredient of organizational life. It simultaneously acts as the bonding agent that holds everything together as well as the lubricant that keeps things moving smoothly.

Trust doesn’t “just happen” through some sort of magical relationship osmosis. It’s built and sustained through the use of very specific behaviors that align with the four core elements of trust: competence, integrity, care, and dependability. Leaders who emphasize the use of “trust boosting” behaviors cultivate an environment where employees feel safe and want to invest their discretionary effort, whereas leaders who engage in “trust busting” behaviors foster an environment of distrust and fear that cause people to withdraw and only give minimal effort.

Leadership as a Driver

Research by Gallup has indicated that a person’s relationship with his or her direct manager is the leading factor influencing employee engagement and that managers account for 70% of the variance in employee engagement scores. The Great Place to Work Institute has documented that committed and engaged employees who trust their management perform 20% better and are 87% less likely to leave the organization. What does that mean for leaders? To a large extent, the way you lead your people has a dramatic impact on their level of engagement on the job.

According to Gallup research, managers account for 70% of the variance in employee engagement scores.

SLII® is a model and methodology that fosters an environment of trust and engagement because it puts people first. SLII is a “people-centered” approach to leadership that looks at the needs of the follower to determine the leadership style used by the leader. The needs of the follower come before the needs of the leader. This altruistic approach by leaders builds trust because his or her followers see the leader has their best interests in mind.

Leaders who effectively use SLII also develop open, honest, and transparent communication with their people. With trust as the foundation in the relationship, employees feel safe enough to ask for the direction and support they need on tasks and goals. A team member who doesn’t trust his or her leader is not going to admit to being a “D2 – Disillusioned Learner.” Admitting you don’t know something is the last thing you’ll do with a leader you don’t trust. Conversely, leaders who foster trust and utilize SLII open up the lines of communication with direct reports and are able to talk objectively about developmental needs.

Engagement is the Goal

It would be overly simplistic to suggest that having a people-centered approach to building trust and employing Situational Leadership® II will produce an engaged workforce. Employee engagement is a broad and complex issue that organizations spend $720 million dollars a year trying to solve, according to a Bersin & Associates report.  Bersin also highlights that when it comes to engagement there isn’t even a commonly accepted definition of the term. Definitions vary widely, with elements including commitment, goal alignment, enjoyment, and performance, just to name a few.

Thumbs Up GroupHowever, it isn’t an oversimplification to state that a people-centered approach fosters an environment that allows trust and engagement to flourish and leads to organizational success. Research by renowned economist Laurie Bassi has proven that firms who put people first, as measured by the highest scores on the Human Capital Management (HCM) scale, have outperformed the S&P 500 over the past 25 years in periods of financial prosperity as well as in more difficult times. Most notably, firms with higher HCM scores are able to endure and recover more quickly from cyclical downturns in the economy than are firms with lower HCM scores.

Simply stated, leaders of the best and most successful firms understand that all they have and all they hope for is due to their people, and as a result, they practice people-centered leadership.

 3 Comments

 Posted on January 3, 2018 by

 Engagement, Leadership, Trust

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4 Ways Santa Is A Great Leader, And How You Can Be Too

As I have in years past, I was able to catch-up with Santa Claus for an exclusive one-on-one interview. The jolly old man was kind enough to take a break from his final preparations on Christmas Eve to answer my questions about what makes him such a great leader. During our conversation, I learned that Santa believes trustworthiness is the number one key to his success, and he builds trust through four primary ways. Below is an excerpt of our conversation.

Me: Hello Santa. It’s a pleasure to see you once again. Thank you for taking the time to meet with me. I know you’re quite busy.

Santa: Hi Randy! It’s my pleasure to spend some time with you. I feel it’s the least I can do, considering all those years you spent on the “naughty” list as a child. Ha! You know I’m just pulling your leg.

Me: I love your sense of humor Santa! You of all people know how close I actually was to being on the naughty list. Thanks for the grace you showed. I know you’re busy, so let’s get right to it. What makes you such a great leader?

Santa: Well, leadership involves many things, but I would say the biggest key to my success has been being trustworthy.

Me: That’s music to my ears, Santa. You know how important I think trust is to effective leadership. Tell me more about what makes you so trustworthy.

Santa: I think there are four main things that make me trustworthy. First, it’s because I’m able. There’s a lot of moving pieces to this Santa gig, and I’ve had to develop the skills necessary to perform the job. I’ve mastered logistics, organization, sleigh-driving, reindeer development, elf management, toy production, and a host of other things. People trust me because they believe I know my stuff. And I do!

Me: No one knows santa-ing more than you, that’s for sure! What else makes you trustworthy?

Santa: A second aspect of my trustworthiness is that I’m believable. If I’m going to judge which children have been naughty and which have been nice, then I have to be above reproach myself. Nothing is more important to me than acting with integrity. I say what I mean, and I mean what I say. I’m honest, stick to my values, and walk the talk.

Me: I couldn’t agree more, Santa. When I think of you, I have full confidence that you will always do the right thing. No one ever questions your judgment because you’ve been so consistent and steady in your behavior. You said there were four things that make you trustworthy. What are the other two?

Santa: The third factor that makes me trustworthy is that I’m connected with others through caring relationships. Children around the world know that I care about them deeply. I love all children, even the ones who find themselves on the naughty list (which between you and me, there are actually very few that ever appear on that list). All the elves at the North Pole know that I care about them as well. I make it a point to learn the first name and position of every elf on my team, and I frequently walk the shop floor to chat with them and connect on a personal level. It’s one of the most enjoyable aspects of my job.

Me: The love you have for the children of the world is evidenced by the joy you personify and the joy you give to others. What’s the fourth element of trustworthiness?

Santa: The fourth element that makes me trustworthy is that I’m dependable. Above all, I’m counted on to deliver presents around the world on Christmas Eve. A R O U N D  T H E  W O R L D (Santa says in a slow, drawn out manner). Can you recall a Christmas where I haven’t delivered? No, you can’t. All the children are depending on me and I’d never let them down. If I say I’m going to do something, by golly, I do it!

Me: That makes perfect sense Santa. You are trustworthy because you’re able, you have the skills needed to do your job well. You’re believable because you act with integrity. You’re connected with people on a real, authentic basis. And you’re dependable; you can be counted on to do what you say you’re going to do. Now that I think about it, the first letter of those four words form the acronym ABCD. The ABCDs of trust!

Santa: That’s right! The ABCDs of trust. It’s the alphabet or language of trust, isn’t it?!

Me: It sure is! I would also argue that it’s also the language of leadership. You can’t sustain long-term, effective leadership if you aren’t trustworthy. I think you’re one of the best examples of that truth.

Santa: Thank you, Randy. I’m humbled by your compliments. It truly is a team effort between me, Mrs. Claus, and all the elves on our team. Teamwork makes the dream work! By the way, all the sports stars and coaches today stole that line from me!

Me: Ha! You’re the best Santa. I know you have to be running. You’ve got a long night ahead of you. Thanks for spending time with me.

Santa: You’re welcome! Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

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 Posted on December 24, 2017 by

 ABCD Trust Model, Leadership, Santa Claus, Trust

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Where Did the “Us” in Trust Go?

Where’s the good in goodbye,
Where’s the nice in nice try,
Where’s the us in trust gone,
Where’s the soul in soldier on,
Now I’m the low in lonely,
Cos I don’t own you only,
I can take this mistake, but
I can’t take the ache from heartbreak

No Good in Goodbye ~ The Script

“Where’s the us in trust gone?” I was listening to this song this past week and of course that particular lyric caught my ear. The song describes a person who has done something to damage a love relationship and is lamenting the pain of the breakup. It got me thinking of the inherent one-to-one nature of trust.

Yes, trust can be applied on a generalized level such as the trust one has (or doesn’t have) in government, companies, or other entities. But in its purest form, trust is a psychological and emotional construct between two people and there are three important truths that apply to building trust in relationships:

1. Risk is required — You don’t need trust if there’s nothing at risk. That’s called certainty, a sure thing, a guarantee. But if there is risk, if there is a chance you might get burned extending your love, money, or faith to someone else, then trust is essential. A part of that risk involves someone making the first move in extending trust. Trust doesn’t happen by accident. In order for trust to develop in a relationship, one party has to make the decision to extend trust in the hopes it will be reciprocated. That’s the only way it happens. Ernest Hemingway summed this up simply yet eloquently when he said “The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”

2. Trust cannot be demanded; it must be granted willingly — Trust, just like love, commitment, loyalty, and other relationship dynamics cannot be forced upon someone; it must be given. Each person is unique in regards to how they grant trust to another. Some have the philosophy of “I’ll trust you until you show me I shouldn’t” while others have the approach of “I won’t give you my trust until you earn it.” Our propensity to trust is shaped by many factors including our level of psychological and emotional maturity, risk tolerance, the balance of power in the relationship, childhood experiences with trust, and our morals and values. Regardless of how a person is “wired” to trust, you can’t demand they give it to you. They must decide on their own to give it to you.

3. Trust must be nurtured — Trust is not a one and done sort of thing. You don’t give or receive it and then forget about it. You must constantly protect and nurture it in order for it to deepen and give life and endurance to the relationship. Trust sustains relationships through the tough times. It’s the element that breeds safety and security in a relationship so each person knows that no matter what happens, I can trust you won’t hurt me or take advantage of me. In the garden of relationships in your life, trust is the water that keeps them growing, blooming, and maturing to fullness. Without trust those relationships will wither and die. Unfortunately, too many people only think about trust when it has been broken. Don’t let that be you. Never lose sight of trust and keep working to make it stronger day by day.

There’s no trust without “us.” You and me. Two people willing to take a risk and make themselves vulnerable to each other with the expectation the other won’t take advantage. We don’t demand it of each other, but we give it willingly because the other person has demonstrated their trustworthiness over time. And we constantly nurture the trust in our relationship so it continues to grow over time and works in a reciprocal fashion to constantly strengthen itself. That’s the “us” in trust.

 1 Comment

 Posted on December 17, 2017 by

 Relationships, Trust

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Making Wise Decisions – 5 Tips for Getting it Right

December 7th of this past week marked the 77th anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor by the Empire of Japan. Every year around this time I’m reminded of the powerful, and sometimes largely unknown, consequences of the decisions we make. The reminder stems from a story that I heard my wife’s grandpa, Don Hadley, tell dozens of times about a decision he made 77 years ago that changed the course of his life.

In the summer of 1940, Don Hadley was a newly married U.S. Marine stationed in San Diego, CA. Returning from his honeymoon, he received a call from his Gunnery Sergeant informing him of his new assignment: Report to the USS Arizona in Pearl Harbor for a two-year tour of duty.

Not wanting to move his wife away from her Italian-immigrant family, Don asked if there were any other options. He was told he could go to Guam for 18 months, but it would be sea duty versus the two years of shore duty in Pearl aboard the USS Arizona. He chose Guam. Anyone familiar with the history of the attack on Pearl Harbor knows that the USS Arizona was sunk during the battle, resulting in 1,177 officers and crew losing their lives.

This one decision had a relatively few number of stakeholders directly affected by the outcome and the potential consequences seemed narrow in scope. Yet with the benefit of hindsight, we can see that generations of lives were impacted as a result of this one choice.

In a leadership capacity, this story has always reminded me of the importance of making good decisions. There may be consequences to our decisions that we can’t readily see on the surface so it’s vital that we make wise decisions. Here’s some tips and techniques to help you make good decisions:

1. Don’t overestimate your decision-making abilities – That fact is that most of us don’t receive much formal training in how to make decisions. Creating a list of pro’s and con’s is a good start, but there are many other decision-making tools that can help. Select the tools most appropriate for the decisions you need to make.

2. Be clear on the decision you need to make – There is a difference between problem-solving and decision-making. Problem-solving usually deals with a more complex set of variables whereas a decision is a subset of solving a particular problem. Dig into the root issues of the situation you’re involved with and determine what exactly it is you’re trying to decide. You don’t want to spend time making a decision about an issue that isn’t at the core of the situation.

3. Gather the facts – It seems like a no-brainer, but it’s amazing how many times we rush to decisions because we assume we know all the facts. Do research, talk to people familiar with the situation, and get advice from unbiased advisers. One of the quickest ways to erode trust with your followers is to make rash decisions that come back to haunt you because you didn’t take the time to thoroughly vet the situation.

4. Understand the impact on the stakeholders – Consider the needs and desires of those affected by the decision. Does your decision promote the welfare of those involved? Is it fair and just? Is it in alignment with your personal values and those of the organization? Try to step into the shoes of those on the receiving end of the decision to understand how they may perceive the outcome, and if possible, solicit input from those affected and incorporate their feedback into your decision if it makes sense.

5. Make the decision and follow through – In their classic Harvard Business Review article, The Smart-Talk Trap, authors Jeffrey Pfeffer and Bob Sutton explain that in business, “When confronted with a problem, people act as if discussing it, formulating decisions, and hashing out plans for action are the same as actually fixing it.” Trusted leaders do more than talk – they actually make a decision and follow through by implementing it. Sometimes it’s easy to get caught in “analysis-paralysis,” always wanting to discuss it a little bit more or gather just a few more facts. At some point you have to make the decision and move forward. If it ends up being the wrong decision then change course and try again!

I’m glad that Grandpa Don made the decision to go to Guam. If he didn’t, I almost certainly would never have had the opportunity to marry my wonderful wife Kim and have the beautiful family that I’m blessed with today. Trusted leaders take time to make wise decisions and then move forward confidently knowing they did their best.

 4 Comments

 Posted on December 11, 2017 by

 Decision-Making, Problem Solving

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3 Levels of Trust You Experience in Relationships

I regularly work with individuals and teams to help them build trust in the workplace. Many people think trust just sort of “happens” in relationships, but there are actually four elements of trust you can proactively cultivate to have healthy and thriving relationships.

Because I’m an advocate for building ever higher levels of trust, participants in my workshops often assume I think trust is a one-size-fits-all proposition, that all relationships should have the ultimate, highest level of trust. But when it comes to trust, not all relationships are at the same level. Based on the context of the given relationship—professional, personal, family, social—each one can experience a different level of trust.

There are three basic levels of trust. The first level is deterence-based trust, or what I like to call “rules-based” trust. This is the most fundamental, base level of trust in all relationships. Deterence-based trust means that there are rules in place that prevent one person from taking advantage of, or harming another person. In society we have laws that govern our behavior in personal and business settings. When we engage in business we have contracts that ensure one party can trust another to hold up their end of the bargain. In organizations we have policies and procedures that provide boundaries for how we interact and treat each other, and if we violate those rules, usually there are consequences involved.

The second level of trust is knowledge-based trust. This level of trust means that I’ve had enough experience with you and knowledge of your behavior that I have a pretty good idea of how you will react and behave in relationship with me. Because my experience with you has shown that you have my best interests in mind and will do what you say you’ll do, I feel safe enough to trust you in our everyday dealings. This is the level of trust that most of our day-to-day professional relationships experience.

The third and most intimate level of trust we experience in relationships is called identity-based trust. This level of trust means that you know my hopes, dreams, goals, ambitions, fears, and doubts. I trust you at this level because over the course of time I have increased my level of transparency and vulnerability with you and you haven’t taken advantage of me. You’ve proven yourself to be loyal, understanding, and accepting.

Identity-based trust isn’t appropriate for every relationship. This level of trust is usually reserved for the most important people in our lives such as our spouse, children, family, and close friends. Yet with the proper boundaries in place, this level of trust can unlock higher levels of productivity, creativity, and performance in organizations. Imagine an organizational culture where we operated freely without concerns of being stabbed in the back by power-hungry colleagues looking to move higher on the corporate ladder. Imagine less gossiping, backbiting, or dirty politics being played because we knew each other’s hopes and dreams and worked to encourage their development rather than always having a me-first attitude.

Take a moment to examine the level of trust in your most important relationships. What level are you at with each one and how can you develop deeper levels of trust?

 12 Comments

 Posted on December 3, 2017 by

 Relationships, Trust

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