Leading with Trust

The Enemy of Trust and 6 Ways to Defeat It

coach-yellingToday is Super Bowl Sunday, and along with tens of millions of other people, I’ll be watching the Denver Broncos and Seattle Seahawks battle it out for the NFL championship. One of the things I enjoy about watching sports is paying attention to the “game within the game.” I observe how the coaches interact with each other and the players, how they react to the highs and lows of the game, and how they lead their teams.

I’ve observed many coaches lead through fear and intimidation. I’ve seen them criticize players for making mistakes, or yell and scream at players in frustration because the game isn’t going the way the coach would like. I’ve noticed when coaches are “screamers,” their players eventually tune them out, or even worse, become so afraid to make mistakes they fail to give their best effort.

Unfortunately, this kind of leadership isn’t limited to the world of sports. Our workplaces have plenty of leaders who try to lead through fear. Maybe you work for one? Maybe you are one?

Even if you aren’t the stereotypical gruff, volatile, loud, in-your-face type of boss, you may be casting a shadow of fear over your team without even realizing it. Your positional authority alone is enough to create a certain amount of anxiety and stress in the hearts of your employees. Add in some common fear-inducing behaviors leaders often use like hoarding information, losing their temper, and not protecting the interests of their employees, you’ve got the recipe for creating timid and fearful team members.

Fear is the enemy of trust. It’s hard, if not virtually impossible, for trust to survive if there is fear in a relationship. The two are polar opposites just like night and day, black and white, pain and pleasure, success and failure, or even Michigan and Ohio State (Go Blue!).

In order to become a trusted leader, you need to lower, and hopefully eliminate, the amount of fear in the relationships with those you lead. Here are six ways to lower fear and build trust:

1. Be consistent in your behavior – Unpredictability breeds fear. If your employees can’t reasonably predict how you’ll react in a given situation, they’ll be afraid to step out and take risks. They’ll always be on edge, not knowing who’s going to show up at the office, the “good boss” that will support their efforts and have their back should they make a mistake, or the “bad boss” that will fly off the handle and punish them for their failure.

2. Treat mistakes as learning opportunities – High-trust cultures give employees confidence to set BHAG’s – big hairy audacious goals – and risk failure by not achieving them. Rather than penalize your employees when they make a mistake, use the opportunity to coach them on how to do better the next time around.

3. Explain the “why” – Let your team members know the “why” behind the questions you ask or the decisions you make. It will help them better understand your thought processes and motivations and create more buy-in to your leadership. Failure to explain the “why” leaves people wondering about why you do what you do and sows the seeds of doubt and fear.

4. Share information about yourself – The Johari Window is a helpful model that illustrates how you can improve communication and build trust with others by disclosing information about yourself. By soliciting the feedback of others, you can learn more about yourself and how others perceive you. Check out one of my previous articles about how you can build trust by being more vulnerable with people.

5. Solicit and use feedback from others – Leaders who rule by fear generally don’t bother soliciting feedback or input from others when making decisions. It’s the boss’ way or the highway. Trusted leaders seek input from others and look for ways to incorporate their ideas into the decisions that are made.

6. Be nice – Say “please”… “thank you”… “you’re welcome”… a little kindness goes a long way in building trust. Simply making the effort to be friendly and build a rapport with others signals to them that you care about them as individuals and not just as workers that show up to do a job.

The coaches of today’s Super Bowl teams, John Fox (Broncos) and Pete Carroll (Seahawks), aren’t known as fear-inducing leaders. In fact, they’re quite the opposite – positive, upbeat, steady, and encouraging. Their players feel secure in the consistency of their leadership and perform without fear of how they’ll respond if they make a mistake. That style of leadership produces winning teams. Give it a try with yours.

 7 Comments

 Posted on February 2, 2014 by

 Attitude, Bullying, Communication, Fear, Leadership, Sports, Trust

9 Warning Signs an Employee Needs to be Let Go

sinking-ship“We need to let you go.”

Oomph! Those words feel like a punch to the gut of the employee on the receiving end, and for the leader delivering the bad news, those words create anxiety and many sleepless nights leading up to that difficult conversation.

No leader likes to see an employee fail on the job. From the moment we start the recruitment process, through interviewing, hiring, and training, our goal is to set up our employees for success. It takes a tremendous amount of time, energy, and expense to bring new people into the organization and ramp them up to full productivity, so it’s in everyone’s vested interest to see an employee succeed. Yet we all know there are situations that, for whatever reason, an employee struggles on the job and there isn’t much hope of turning it around.

I recently met with a group of HR professionals and line managers to debrief employee termination situations. As we reviewed the cases at hand, the following nine signs emerged as warning signals, that had they been heeded early on in the employee’s career, a termination decision could have been made much earlier in the process that would have saved everyone a lot of heartache and the company a lot of money. Any one of these signs is alarming in and of itself, but when you combine all of them together…lookout! That ship is sinking fast.

Nine Warning Signs an Employee Needs to be Let Go

1. Things don’t improve with a change of scenery – Maybe it’s the relationship with their boss, certain peers, or the nature of the work has changed and the employee is struggling to perform at his best. Whatever the reason, moving the employee to another role or department can get him back on track. I’ve done it myself and have seen it work. But if you’ve given the employee another chance by giving him a change of scenery and it’s still not working out, you should be concerned. The scenery probably isn’t the problem.

2. You feel like you have to walk on eggshells around the employee – We all have personality quirks and some people are more difficult to work with than others, but when an employee becomes cancerous to the morale and productivity of the team and everyone feels like they have to walk on eggshells around the person for fear of incurring their wrath, you’ve got a serious problem. Don’t underestimate the destructive power of a toxic, unpredictable employee.

3. Emotional instability – Part of being a mature adult is being able to manage your emotions and it’s critically important in a professional workplace. If you have an employee that demonstrates severe emotional mood swings on the job and in their relationships with others, you need to pursue the proper legal and ethical guidelines in dealing with him to provide the support he needs. Don’t ignore the behavior by chalking it up to the heat of the moment, the stress of the job, or excusing it by saying “Oh, that’s just Joe being Joe.” (No offense to all the Joe’s out there.)

4. Trouble fitting into the company culture – Perhaps one of the earliest signs that you have a failing employee is noticing him having significant trouble adapting to the culture of the organization. There is a natural transition time for any new employee, but if you’re constantly hearing the employee make negative comments about how the company operates and criticizing leadership, or not developing solid relationships with others and becoming part of the team, warning alarms should be going off in your head.

5. Blames others, makes excuses, and challenges authority – You know the incredibly loud sound of air raid sirens used in civil defense situations? That’s the sound you should be hearing if you have an employee with a track record of blaming others and making excuses for his poor performance. Troubled employees will often challenge authority by trying to lay the blame at the boss’ feet by saying things like “You should have done this…” or “You didn’t address that problem…” or whatever the case may be. If you have an employee who always seems to be involved in drama, ask yourself “What (or more appropriately ‘who’) is the common denominator in these situations?”

6. Distorts or manipulates the truth – I’ve dealt with employees who were very skilled at manipulating or distorting the truth. In whatever difficult situation they were in, they would find a kernel of truth to justify and excuse their involvement to the point that I would feel compelled to side with them. I learned you have to be discerning and consistent in your approach to dealing with manipulative people and make sure you document your interactions so you have sufficient data to support your termination decision.

7. Unseen gaps in performance – One of the most challenging situations is when an employee seems to be performing well by outside appearances, but when you explore behind the scenes you discover there are gaps in performance. Maybe it’s sloppy work, not following correct procedures, or even worse, being intentionally deceptive or unethical. Be careful, things may not always be as they seem.

8. A trail of broken relationships – Employees don’t have to be BFF’s with all of their coworkers, but they do need to respect others and be able to work together. A person may be a high-performer in the tasks of his job, but if he can’t get along with other people and has a history of damaging relationships with colleagues, eventually there will come a point where his contributions are outweighed by the damage and drama he creates.

9. Passive-aggressive behavior – You know those smiley-face emoticons at the end of slightly sarcastic and critical emails? A classic example of passive-aggressive behavior where the sender is trying to couch his criticism in feigned-humor. This is toxic and can be hard to manage because it manifests itself in so many ways that appear to be innocuous in and of themselves. Veiled jokes, procrastination, sullenness, resentment, and deliberate or repeated failure to follow-through on tasks are all signs of passive-aggressive behavior. Be careful…very careful.

Before an employee is terminated, a leader needs to look in the mirror and honestly answer this question: “Have I done everything possible to help this person succeed?” If the answer to that question is “no,” then you owe it to the employee, and yourself, to put more effort into turning things around. However, if the answer is “yes,” then it’s time to make the hard decision and let them go.

 21 Comments

 Posted on January 26, 2014 by

 Accountability, Conflict, Leadership, Management, Performance Management

4 Reasons I Use The “F” Word At Work

F-WordIn most workplaces the “F” word is taboo. There are some words you just don’t say out loud and the “F” word tops the list. Leaders, in particular, are afraid to even think about the “F” word, much less say it in public. Experienced leaders have learned that mentioning the “F” word is like opening Pandora’s Box. You flip the lid on that bad boy and you’re in for a world of hurt. Some things, including the “F” word, are just better left unsaid.

I think that needs to change. Leaders need to use the “F” word more. Much more.

I used to be afraid of the “F” word until I learned better. Now I find myself using the “F” word whenever I get the chance. Here are four reasons why I use the “F” word – feelings – in the workplace (you didn’t really think I was talking about that “F” word, did you?!):

1. It recognizes reality – People don’t check their feelings and emotions at the office door. Every one of your employees is a walking, talking, bundle of thoughts and emotions that affect the way they “show up” at work. Even though every manager in the world wishes that people kept their personal lives at home and didn’t bring their issues to work, that’s just not realistic. Everybody, including you and me, have issues in our lives that affect our work performance. Maybe it’s a sick child, an ailing parent, marital problems, financial pressures, <insert challenge here>, you name it – we all have ups and downs in life. Effective leaders have learned to be emotionally intelligent and understand the need to manage the whole person, not just the faceless/mindless “worker” that shows up to do a job.

2. It builds trust – There is no more important leadership competency than building high-trust relationships. There is very little chance for success in the leader/follower relationship without a solid foundation of trust. One of the core elements of a trustworthy relationship is “connectedness.” People trust you when they know you care about them as individuals and not just workers being paid to do a job. Acknowledging emotions, maintaining open communication, and recognizing/rewarding people for their accomplishments are key behaviors in building trust. You can’t build trust without using the “F” word.

3. It fosters engagement – Research has shown there are 12 primary factors in creating passionate employees at work. By “passionate” I mean engaged employees that are willing to be good corporate citizens, perform at high levels, and devote their discretionary energy to accomplishing their goals and those of the organization. Two of those 12 factors are relationship-focused: connectedness with leader and connectedness with colleagues. Like the theme song from the old TV sitcom “Cheers” says, “You want to go where everybody knows your name.” People need rewarding interpersonal relationships with their coworkers to be fully engaged on the job. Employees also want and need a supportive and personal relationship with their boss. Of course this varies by personality types and other factors, but everyone wants to have a positive and productive relationship with their leader. You have to talk about feelings if you want engaged employees.

4. It helps manage stress – People need an appropriate emotional outlet at work to share their concerns and frustrations. There needs to be a “safe zone” where people can voice their feelings without fear of recrimination, and in order for this to be possible, there has to be a high level of trust. Admittedly, this can be scary. If there aren’t proper boundaries in place, venting can quickly turn into gossiping, whining, complaining, and general negativity. That’s why I think it’s important for leaders to take charge on this issue and create a culture where their people feel safe in coming to them to share these concerns. People are going to vent about their frustrations whether the leader chooses to be involved or not. Why not be purposeful about creating a system, process, or structure to positively channel these feelings? (Oops, there I go…using the “F” word again.)

The world at work has changed dramatically over the last 25 years. The “F” word used to be off-limits. Everyone understood that people showed up for work, punched the clock, did their job, punched out, and went home. There wasn’t any namby-pamby talk about feelings, engagement, well-being, or happiness at work. You want to be fulfilled? Get a hobby outside of work. That will fulfill you.

Nowadays there is much less separation between a person’s personal life and work life. Technology has blurred the boundaries between those areas and it’s created new dynamics in the workplace to which leaders have to adapt. Whether you like it or not, leaders have to know how to deal with feelings in the workplace. Get used to it, you’re going to have start using the “F” word more. Much more.

 20 Comments

 Posted on January 19, 2014 by

 Communication, Connectedness, Emotions, Engagement, Relationships, Trust

3 Reasons You Find It Hard To Trust People

Photo by Zdeněk Macháček on Unsplash

“I don’t know why, but I can’t bring myself to trust people,” the person said to me in a private conversation after a workshop on building trust. “Every time I’ve trusted people in the past I’ve been let down, so now it’s easier and less painful to just rely on myself.”

Maybe you feel similarly, and even if you don’t, you’ve probably experienced broken trust in a past relationship that has caused you to question whether or not it’s worth trusting again. When you find yourself struggling to decide whether or not to trust someone, it’s important to figure out the reasons why.

Here’s three common reasons that hold you back from trusting others:

1. You have a low propensity to trust – Our propensity to trust is based on many factors, chief among them being our personality, early childhood role models and experiences, beliefs and values, culture, self-awareness and emotional maturity. The combination of these factors and experiences shapes how quickly, and how much trust we extend to others. Your experiences may have resulted in you viewing trust as something to be earned, not given, so therefore you withhold trust from others until you’re absolutely sure they deserve it. Even then, you may only extend trust grudgingly or in small amounts. Having a low propensity to trust can hold you back from experiencing true joy and fulfillment in relationships.

2. You have unrealistic expectations – Unrealistic, unspoken, and unclear expectations are a primary cause for low or broken trust in relationships, and the higher the expectations the more likely it is they won’t be met. Trust usually isn’t something people openly talk about or address in relationships until it’s been broken, and by then it’s often too late to salvage the relationship or the breach of trust seems too big to overcome. Clarifying expectations is preventative medicine when it comes to trust. It’s much better to have the awkward or uncomfortable discussion up front about roles, responsibilities, and expectations, than it is to deal with the fallout when either party falls short.

3. Past hurts hold you back – Hurt people, hurt people…those who have been hurt by broken relationships in the past often hurt other people in a dysfunctional form of self-protection. Whether it’s unnecessarily withholding trust (see #1), having unrealistic expectations of others (see #2), being trapped in a victim mentality, lashing out at others, or operating out of low self-esteem, our past experiences with broken trust can easily derail us from developing healthy, high-trust relationships. It’s critical to not let our past hurts dictate our present relationships. As Sue Augustine, author of When Your Past Is Hurting Your Present says, “You may not be able to control what happens to you, but you can control what happens within you.”

Trust is as vital to healthy relationships as oxygen is to a scuba diver; survival is impossible without it. Whether it’s a naturally low propensity to trust, having unrealistic expectations, or letting our past hurts hold us back from trusting others, we have to move beyond these reasons if we want to have trust-filled relationships in the future. Look for an upcoming post on how to improve your “trust-ability” – the ability to trust others.

Feel free to share your thoughts and comments. What other reasons cause you to withhold trust from people?

 164 Comments

 Posted on January 12, 2014 by

 Relationships, Trust

Leadership Development Carnival – January 2014

leadership_carnival logo

Welcome to the January 6, 2014 edition of the Leadership Development Carnival! One of the best ways to improve as a leader is to reflect upon your past experiences, catalog the lessons learned, and apply that information to your future leadership activities. Fortunately for you, 28 of the top thought leaders in the field of leadership have assembled their best blog posts for 2013, effectively serving as a world-class library of leadership wisdom for your benefit. Enjoy the best of the best!

Dan McCarthy at Great Leadership – With so many great books on leadership, why are so many people in leadership positions clueless? Dan tells you why in 10 Reasons why Managers are Clueless about Leadership.

Joel Garfinkle at Career Advancement Blog – Joel provides insight on how to build a workforce that wants to stay with you in Six Articles to Fix Your Employee Retention Issue.

Mike Myatt of N2growth Blog – This Forbes article by Mike has been read more than 1 million times for good reason. In order for leaders to keep their best people, they need to know the 10 Reasons Your Top Talent Will Leave You.

Chris Edmonds‘ The Purposeful Culture Group – My friend and colleague Chris Edmonds shares that employees have The Right to Work Place Inspiration. Top organizations ensure their KPI’s (Key Performance Indicators) align with their WPI’s.

John Hunter at the Curious Cat Management Improvement Blog – In his article, Managers Are Not Non-Leaders: Managers Need to Practice Things We Classify as Leadership Traits, John discusses how management is often demeaned in comparison to leadership and we have much to learn from each discipline.

Chery Gegelman of Giana Consulting’s Simply Understanding Blog – In the first of a three-part series, The Single Best Way to Develop Leaders: Throw Them In!, Chery highlights the personal growth that happens when leaders take on challenging assignments over their heads.

Dana Theus of InPower Consulting – Dana illustrates the bottom-line benefits organizations receive in Activating The Hidden Face of Workforce Diversity.

Linda Fisher Thornton of Leading in Context – There is a trend toward considering our responsibilities broadly, beyond making profits to also making a difference. Here is Linda’s list of 16 Trends Shaping the Future of Ethical Leadership. As we head into the New Year, let’s help our leaders be ready for this positive, proactive, ethical leadership future.

Dr. Anne Perschel of Germane Consulting – In The One Thing Leaders Need to Know, Anne shares that some, but not all, who hold leadership titles are leaders. This post is about those leaders, the ones who are actually leading, which means you are evolving – and so are others.

Jim Taggart’s Changing Winds Blog – In his post The Leader Sets the Tone, Jim discusses the importance of three critical leadership attributes: Integrity, Modeling, and Consistency.

Frank Sonnenberg at Frank Sonnenberg Online – Frank gives the honest, straight-forward truth about balancing success with humility in Be Humble: Don’t Let Success Go to Your Head.

Julie Winkle Giulioni – Despite the ubiquitous use of the term, not all groups are teams. In Team, Group, or Train Wreck, Julie discusses how teams share some essential qualities that distinguish them from other collections of individuals.

Don Maruska & Jay Perry of Take Charge of Your Talent – Don and Jay are calling for a revolution in talent development, and in their article, Putting the Keys to Talent Development in Your Hand, they give you a new paradigm for viewing talent development.

Jennifer V. Miller of The People Equation – Jennifer offers an opportunity for women to step up and claim their leadership potential in the post 37 Women with Something Interesting to Say About Leadership. “This post resonated with both men and women. I heard from countless people, thanking me for giving voice to a frustration that has long existed in the blog world as it relates to women and leadership” says Jennifer.

Mike Henry, Sr. of The Lead Change Group – Written by Tal Shnall, Mike shares the post Five Ways to Improve Communication With Your Teams. These five tips will help you become a better leader-communicator in any environment.

Wally Bock’s Three Star Leadership Blog – Brutal honesty is supposed to be a good thing. Gentle honesty is better. In his post Gentle Honesty, Wally reminds leaders that their people should leave a conversation about performance or behavior thinking about what will change, not how they’ve been treated.

Joan Kofodimos from Teleos Consulting’s Anyone Can Lead Blog – In her article Biggest Coaching Mistakes Managers Make, Joan shares 9 of the most common managerial missteps when trying to coach employees.

Mary Ila Ward of Horizon Point Consulting – Mary asks 2 Questions for Striving Servant Leaders in this concise, yet pointed post, that will cause all leaders to stop in their tracks.

Lisa Kohn from Chatworth Consulting’s Thoughtful Leaders Blog – When we hold on to our misfortunes it’s as if we hand over our power to them. We give away our power, and then we feel powerless. In Don’t Give Your Power Away, Lisa shares that we have a choice as to whether or not we allow our misfortunes to have such power over us. We have a choice, as always, about what we focus on, what we notice, what we tell ourselves, and where we put our attention.

Jesse Lyn Stoner’s blog at the Seapoint Center for Collaborative Leadership – My friend and colleague, Jesse Stoner, says “The assumption that change has to start at the top is wrong. Stop waiting for senior leaders to provide leadership. You have the power to provide leadership within your own sphere of influence.” In her excellent article, Stop Waiting for Someone Else to Provide Leadership, Jesse give leaders four important questions to discuss with their teams.

Beth Miller at Executive Velocity – So often leaders don’t take time for themselves by getting good feedback, assessments, and coaching to develop themselves to their true leadership potential. In Leaders: Fight the Gremlins, Beth encourages leaders to make a New Year’s Resolution to create a personal development plan so they can avoid or resolve potential derailing behaviors.

Bill Treasurer of Giant Leap Consulting – In his post Leaders Are All Around Us, Bill shares the important truth that although role models like Steve Jobs can be helpful, we have leaders all around us, more accessible and ready to make a difference.

Steve Roesler of All Things Workplace – Everyone is talented in some way. In Target The Right Audience For Your Talents, Steve Roesler suggests from experience that where you choose to use your talents is key to satisfying you and everyone involved.

Jon Mertz of Thin Difference – Taking a mindful approach to challenging situations and conversations enables us to respond in better ways. In his post A Mindful Difference: Respond vs. React, my friend Jon highlights four steps leaders can take to be more mindful of how they respond to others.

Ted Coiné, Shawn Murphy, Meghan Biro, and Matthew Fritz from the Switch & Shift blog – Ted reminds us that what goes around, comes around in Good Karma is Good Business, while Shawn outlines 9 Leadership Essentials to Cause Meaningful Work. Meghan follows up with 5 Actions That Spark Employee Engagement and Matthew discusses three principles of The Leader’s Greatest Harvest.

 15 Comments

 Posted on January 6, 2014 by

 Career Growth, Coaching, Communication, Culture, Engagement, Ethics, Leadership, Leadership Development Carnival, Management, Performance Management, Servant Leadership, Success, Talent Management

Top 10 Posts for 2013 – Sabotage, Bullying, Broken Trust and More!

Top 10This past year saw tremendous growth for the Leading with Trust blog with over a 250% increase in readership from last year! I’m grateful for everyone who takes the time to read, share, and discuss the ideas and concepts I write about at Leading with Trust. My purpose is to help spread the word about the value of creating high-trust relationships and organizations, because organizational health and success is driven by effective leadership, and leadership begins with trust.

The top 10 posts of 2013 cover a range of topics, from the ways leaders sabotage the performance of their employees and workplace bullying, to items for a new manager’s survival kit, talent retention, and the ever popular topic of rebuilding broken trust.

Thanks for your support in 2013 and best wishes for a healthy, prosperous, and fulfilling 2014!

10. Build Trust Today or Lose Talent Tomorrow – 3 Tips to Keep Your Top People

9. Six Ways You’re a Workplace Bully Without Even Realizing It

8. Top 10 Easy, No or Low Cost Ways to Tell Employees “Thank You”

7. Five Ways Leaders Help Other Belong, Not Just Fit In

6. 10 Essential Items for a New Manager’s Survival Kit

5. Two Things Your Boss Should Never Have to Talk to You About

4. Are You a Thermometer or Thermostat Leader?

3. Five Steps to Repair Broken Trust

2. Most People Don’t Under-Perform, They’re Under-Led – 5 Ways Leaders Sabotage Performance

1. It’s Not That Complicated – 7 Simple Truths for Leadership Success

 3 Comments

 Posted on December 29, 2013 by

 Leadership, Management, Trust

Santa Reveals His 5 Secrets To Effective Delegation

santaSanta is a leader with world-class delegation skills. How else can you explain one jolly man being able to run a global enterprise from the remote reaches of the North Pole, produce billions of toys with just a small workforce of elves, and distribute them around the world in just a single night? Delegation, that’s how.

With just a few days until Christmas, I sat down with Santa for our yearly leadership interview. In years past Santa has talked about his secrets about motivating the elves and his leadership philosophy. This year, over a cup of Santa’s favorite hot cocoa, he talked about his techniques for effective delegation. Here’s a portion of our conversation:

Me: Hi, Santa! It’s great to see you again. How’s life at the North Pole?

Santa: Ho, ho, ho Randy! Life is great at the North Pole! We’re making final preparations for December 24th, our biggest night of the year. Everyone is working hard in their areas of focus and collaborating well with each other. It’s the most wonderful time of the year!

Me: This year I reached out to my Twitter friends to ask for input on what we should discuss, and Rich Villodas wants to know how you’re able to deliver all those gifts in one night. What’s your secret to delegation?

Santa: Years ago I learned that if I was going to accomplish everything that needed to be done, I’d have to learn how to delegate effectively. Not simply to reduce my own workload, which is purely a self-centered goal, but to develop the skills of my team and elevate our overall performance and productivity.

Me: You make a great point, Santa. Many leaders have a narrow focus when it comes to delegation. They view it as a way to get rid of work they don’t want to do, or as a way to reduce the amount of work on their plate. What tips would you give to leaders seeking to improve their skills at delegation?

Santa: The first key to effective delegation is to diagnose the competence and commitment of the person receiving the work. Not everyone has the skills or motivation to succeed at every project a leader needs to delegate, so it’s important to make sure you have a good match. If you delegate work to someone who isn’t able to handle it, you’re only setting that person up for frustration and failure.

Me: Makes sense Santa. What else would you suggest?

Santa: The second key to delegation is to make sure the outcome is well-defined. One of my leadership mentors, Ken Blanchard, likes to say that all good performance starts with clear goals, and he’s right. I make sure my elves know exactly what they’re supposed to do and how their performance will be measured. After the goals are established, the third key to delegation is to clarify the boundaries of responsibility—who has the authority to do what. Everyone knows their budget limits, decision-making authority, and the approval process for any exceptions. With so many toys to produce we have to run a pretty tight ship around here!

Me: Establishing boundaries of responsibility seems like something leaders can often overlook. I’m glad you specifically addressed that point. Once you do these first three things, does that mean you can fade out of the picture?

Santa: Ho, ho, ho, NO! That leads me to the fourth secret of effective delegation—Be available! Even though a leader delegates work, he or she still needs to be available to provide any direction or support the individual needs. I have regular one-on-one meetings with my Manager Elves to stay in touch with how their teams are performing. Each manager has regular one-on-one’s with the elves on the front lines, so we have a constant stream of communication up and down the line. Delegation without participation equals abdication, something every leader should avoid.

Me: Your wisdom never ceases to amaze me Santa. Are there any other secrets to effective delegation you’d like to share?

Santa: The fifth and final secret is to review performance on a regular basis. If the elves are on track and doing well, I make it a point to praise them. Catching my elves doing something right is one of my biggest joys! If performance is off-track, then I take the time to offer coaching and direction to get it back on track. Reviewing performance isn’t something we only do once a year. We make it a point to have regular meetings focused on our performance as it relates to our yearly goals. If I can keep a list of all the children who are being naughty or nice, it would be a travesty for me to not keep track of my own team’s performance!

Me: Well, Santa, you always have such great leadership insights to share each year. You have certainly mastered the art of delegation.

Santa: Thank you, Randy, but you give me too much credit. Delegation only works when you have a high level of trust with your team members and if you approach it with the right attitude. Delegation is a leadership technique to develop and empower your people, not to dump your unwanted work on them. When trust is present, delegation is a fantastic way to raise the performance of yourself and your team. Merry Christmas to all!

 11 Comments

 Posted on December 22, 2013 by

 Communication, Delegation, Goal Setting, Leadership, Management, Performance Management, Santa Claus, Trust

6 Conversations Every Leader Needs To Have

ConversationBetween email, text message, instant messaging, and social media, it’s never been easier to communicate with each other, yet the quality of our interactions seems to have become brief, fragmented, and altogether unfulfilling. That’s a big problem for leaders and the people they manage.

Productive and timely conversations are critically important to help people achieve their goals. Without a clear focus on goals and the proper direction and support to achieve them, individuals are cast adrift in the rough seas of the workplace, left alone to navigate their way to success. It’s the leaders’ responsibility to have the right conversations at the right time to help their people succeed. But what kind of conversations are we talking about?

There are six types of conversations leaders need to have with those they lead:

1. Alignment Conversations – All good performance starts with clear goals and an agreement on the type of leadership style the leader will provide the direct report. You’re probably familiar with the concept of setting goals that are SMART: Specific, Motivating, Attainable, Relevant, and Trackable. Many managers get bogged down trying to follow the SMART process when creating goals, so I suggest you switch up the letters and set STRAM goals. Start with making the goal specific and trackable, the two most important elements of SMART goals. Then make sure the goal is relevant to the person’s job and attainable with good effort. If those pieces are in place you can almost be assured the goal will be motivating to the individual.

2. Directive Conversations – Have you ever seen someone extremely excited to accomplish a new goal or project yet doesn’t have a clue where to start? Leaders need to have directive conversations with those individuals to build their competence and maintain their commitment and enthusiasm. They need their leader to explain the who, what, where, when, and why of the work they’re being asked to do, as well as being given the necessary training and resources needed to accomplish their goals. Directive conversations set a firm foundation for an individual’s future success.

3. Coaching Conversations – Individuals discouraged with their lack of progress or success in achieving a goal need coaching conversations with their leader. Coaching conversations blend high amounts of direction and support to pull individuals out of their disillusionment and help build their competence on the goal or task. The direction looks like continued training, instruction, and assistance in problem solving. Support from the leader includes listening, praise, and encouragement to help build the individual’s commitment and motivation.

4. Supportive Conversations – Leaders engage in supportive conversations with those individuals who have the skills and abilities to do the job but lack the confidence to take their work to the next level. Supportive conversations involve heavy doses of listening, asking open-ended questions that allow individuals to solve their own problems, and offering the praise and recognition they need to help boost their confidence.

5. Delegating Conversations – Leaders have delegating conversations with individuals who are high performing, self-reliant, motivated, and competent. These people need their leaders to affirm their competence and commitment by giving low amounts of direction and support. Leaders delegate the goal or task to these individuals and let them run with the ball, yet still being available on the sidelines to assist as needed.

6. One on One Conversations – These 15-30 minute conversations, occurring every 1-2 weeks, help leaders stay in touch with their employees’ goals and provides them the opportunity to ask for the direction and support they need from their leaders. One on Ones keep the lines of communication open between leaders and direct reports and allow for mid-course corrections if performance gets off-track.

The frequency and quality of conversations between leaders and direct reports will determine how successful individuals and teams will be in the workplace. Leaders need to be able to diagnose the competence and commitment of their people, use the leadership style that combines the right amounts of direction and support, and engage in the type of conversation that gives their people what they need to succeed on the job.

 16 Comments

 Posted on December 15, 2013 by

 Coaching, Communication, Goal Setting, Leadership, Management, Performance Management

5 Tips to Build Trust in Your Decision-Making Abilities

DecisionsDecisions, decisions, decisions…we make dozens of them everyday. Ranging from simple and mundane (What flavor of toothpaste should I buy?) to profound and life-altering (Should I marry him?), the decisions we make chart the course of our lives.

Yesterday was December 7th, Pearl Harbor Day, and every year around this time I’m reminded of the powerful, and sometimes largely unknown, consequences of our decisions. The reminder stems from a story that I heard my wife’s grandpa, Don Hadley, tell dozens of times about a decision he made over 70 years ago that changed the course of his life.

In the summer of 1941, Don Hadley was a newly married U.S. Marine stationed in San Diego, CA. Shortly after his wedding he received orders for his new assignment: Report to the USS Arizona in Pearl Harbor for a two-year tour of duty.

Not wanting to move his wife away from her Italian-immigrant family, Don asked if there were any other options. He was told he could go to Guam for 18 months, but it would be sea duty versus the two years of shore duty in Pearl aboard the USS Arizona. He chose Guam because that’s where his wife Sara said she’d like to honeymoon and it would be a shorter tour of duty. Anyone familiar with the history of the attack on Pearl Harbor knows that on December, 7, 1941, the USS Arizona was sunk during the battle, resulting in 1,177 officers and crew losing their lives.

In a leadership capacity, this story has always reminded me of the ripple effect of my decisions and the importance of making good decisions that build trust with my followers. We never know what the ultimate impact may be of some of our decisions, so it’s important we make the best decisions we can. Here are five tips to help you make trust-building decisions:

1. Don’t overestimate your decision-making abilities – That fact is that most of us don’t receive much formal training in how to make decisions. Creating a list of pro’s and con’s is a good start, but there are many other decision-making tools that can help. Select the tools most appropriate for the decisions you need to make.

2. Be clear on the decision you need to make – There is a difference between problem-solving and decision-making. Problem-solving usually deals with a more complex set of variables whereas a decision is a subset of solving a particular problem. Dig into the root issues of the situation you’re involved with and determine what exactly it is you’re trying to decide. You don’t want to spend time making a decision about an issue that isn’t at the core of the situation.

3. Gather the facts – It seems like a no-brainer, but it’s amazing how many times we rush to decisions because we assume we know all the facts. Do research, talk to people familiar with the situation, and get advice from unbiased advisers. One of the quickest ways to erode trust with your followers is to make rash decisions that come back to haunt you because you didn’t take the time to thoroughly vet the situation.

4. Understand the impact on the stakeholders – Consider the needs and desires of those affected by the decision. Does your decision promote the welfare of those involved? Is it fair and just? Is it in alignment with your personal values and those of the organization? Try to step into the shoes of those on the receiving end of the decision to understand how they may perceive the outcome, and if possible, solicit input from those affected and incorporate their feedback into your decision if it makes sense.

5. Make the decision and follow through – In their classic Harvard Business Review article, The Smart-Talk Trap, authors Jeffrey Pfeffer and Bob Sutton explain that in business, “When confronted with a problem, people act as if discussing it, formulating decisions, and hashing out plans for action are the same as actually fixing it.” Trusted leaders do more than talk – they actually make a decision and follow through by implementing it. Sometimes it’s easy to get caught in “analysis-paralysis,” always wanting to discuss it a little bit more or gather just a few more facts. At some point you have to make the decision and move forward. If it ends up being the wrong decision then change course and try again!

I’m glad that Grandpa Don made the decision to go to Guam. If he didn’t, I almost certainly would never have had the opportunity to marry my wonderful wife Kim and have the beautiful family that I’m blessed with today. Trusted leaders take time to make wise decisions and then move forward confidently knowing they did their best.

 11 Comments

 Posted on December 8, 2013 by

 Decision-Making, Leadership, Trust

10 Essential Items for a New Manager’s Survival Kit

survival_kit3Stepping into a management role for the first time is a daunting task for anyone. Most new managers are eager to make their mark as leaders and approach their supervisory opportunity with verve and enthusiasm, yet don’t have a good idea of the nature of managerial work. It doesn’t take long for reality to set in before new managers realize that leading people is a whole new ballgame. What made them successful as individual contributors will not ensure their success as managers.

Upon promotion to a supervisory position, all first-time leaders should be issued the New Manager’s Survival Kit. This metaphorical kit includes the basic items a new manager needs to survive the transition from being an individual contributor to a people manager. This kit doesn’t include everything a new manager needs to succeed on the job (see Dan McCarthy’s 25 Tips for New Managers for an excellent list), just a few essential emergency relief items.

1. Compass – To succeed as a manager you need to know where you’re going, and you need to navigate your journey from a couple different perspectives. First, you need to be clear on your own leadership point of view – your values, beliefs, and desires for being a leader – for it is these ideals that will keep you grounded and motivated in your career. Second, you need to understand the path of success from your boss’ perspective. What does success look like in your new role? Make sure you’re clear on your goals and objectives.

2. Mentor – Or more accurately, the contact information for your chosen mentor. Think of it as the “phone a friend” lifeline from the “Who Want’s to be a Millionaire?” TV game show. There will be many times you’ll need to phone a friend to ask for advice, vent, or commiserate with someone who has walked the same path. We all need a sage guide to help us on our leadership journey.

3. Seat cushion – For better or worse, the reality of organizational life is that managers participate in a lot of meetings. When you first move into a supervisory position you might wonder to yourself “What am I going to do with my time now that I’m not on the front lines?” The answer is meetings, meetings, and more meetings.

4. Thermos – Managers frequently work long hours, sometimes at an unrelenting pace. You’ll need a thermos for your coffee to keep you energized and focused, especially when you’re in those meetings, meetings, and more meetings. Did I say that managers have a lot of meetings?

5. Hearing aid – Arguably the most important of the survival kit items, a hearing aid is essential for your success. Listening is one of the most valuable yet underused skills for managers. Through listening you will build trust, establish rapport, learn about your people, and understand what’s truly going on in your business.

6. Tissues – Inevitably you will have someone cry in your office, and occasionally, you may feel like crying yourself! Always have a box of tissues on hand to gracefully handle those emotional moments.

7. Megaphone – One of your primary roles as a manager is to cheer your people on to success. The most difficult transition for new managers is learning how to achieve goals through other people rather than doing it themselves. You’ll need to learn the three P’s of motivating people: Push, Praise, and Play. Some people need to be pushed to perform their best through challenging assignments or strict accountability, while others need to be praised in order to bring out their best work. And of course every manager’s favorite, some people just need to play. Those are the self-motivated individuals that just need to be put in the starting lineup and given the freedom to do their thing.

8. Task list – Whether it’s a productivity app on your smart phone or an old school to-do list, you need a method to keep yourself organized. Managerial work is characterized by brevity, variety, and fragmentation, so you need a way to keep track of all the tasks on your plate. I use a combination of techniques including elements from David Allen’s Getting Things Done philosophy, ABC task prioritization, and Urgent vs. Important analysis.

9. Inspirational reading material – I won’t give you a list of critical books that new managers should read (that’s the subject of a different blog post!), but I will say that new managers need inspirational reading material to help them learn the skills they need to master as well as to stay inspired on their journey. Leading people requires mental, emotional, and physical stamina and it’s important to make sure you’re feeding your own soul so you’re equipped to give to others.

10. Mirror – Yes, you could use the mirror to help start a campfire or catch the attention of a rescue plane if you’re stranded in the wilderness, but in the office you can use it to look at your reflection, because at the end of the day you have to be comfortable, satisfied, and proud of the person looking back at you. One of the best pieces of advice a new manager can receive is to “be yourself,” for that’s what it means to be authentic. As you experience the highs and lows of leading people, occasionally check yourself out in the mirror to see if you’re being the kind of leader that you’d like to follow.

Are there other items you would include in a new manager’s survival kit? Feel free to share your thoughts by leaving a comment.

 19 Comments

 Posted on December 1, 2013 by

 Career Growth, Leadership, Management

Top 10 Easy, No or Low Cost Ways to Tell Employees “Thank You”

Thank YouTelling an employee “thank you” is one of the most simple and powerful ways to build trust, yet it doesn’t happen near enough in the workplace.

Whenever I conduct trust workshops with clients and discuss the role that rewards and recognition play in building trust, I will ask participants to raise their hands if they feel like they receive too much praise or recognition on the job. No one has ever raised a hand.

So in an effort to equip leaders to build trust and increase recognition in the workplace, and with the U.S. Thanksgiving holiday just four days away, I thought I’d share ten easy, no to low-cost ways to tell your employees “thank you.” I’ve used many of these myself and can attest to their effectiveness.

In David Letterman, Late Night style…The Top 10 Easy, No or Low Cost Ways to Tell Employees “Thank You:”

10. Let them leave work early – This may not be feasible in all work environments, but if you’re able to do it, a surprise treat of allowing people to leave early does wonders for team morale and well-being. I use this technique occasionally with my team, usually when they’ve had the pedal to the metal for a long period of time, or if we have a holiday weekend coming up. Allowing folks to get a head start on the weekend or a few hours of unexpected free time shows you recognize and appreciate their hard work and that you understand there’s more to life than just work.

9. Leave a “thank you” voice mail message – Don’t tell my I.T. department, but I’ve got voice mails saved from over ten years ago that were sent to me by colleagues who took the time to leave me a special message of praise. The spoken word can have a tremendous impact on individuals, and receiving a heartfelt message from you could positively impact your employees in ways you can’t imagine.

8. Host a potluck lunch – You don’t have to take the team to a fancy restaurant or have a gourmet meal catered in the office (which is great if you can afford it!), you just need to put a little bit of your managerial skills to practice and organize a potluck lunch. Sharing a meal together allows people to bond and relax in a casual setting and it provides an excellent opportunity for you to say a few words of thanks to the team and let them know you appreciate them.

7. Give a small token of appreciation – Giving an employee a small memento provides a lasting symbol of your appreciation, and although it may cost you a few bucks, it’s well worth the investment. I’m talking about simple things like giving nice roller-ball ink pens with a note that says “You’ve got the write stuff,” or Life Savers candies with a little note saying “You’re a hole lot of fun,” or other cheesy, somewhat corny things like that (believe me, people love it!). I’ve done this with my team and I’ve had people tell me years later how much that meant to them at the time.

6. Have your boss recognize an employee – Get your boss to send an email, make a phone call, or best-case scenario, drop by in-person to tell one of your employees “thank you” for his/her work. Getting an attaboy from your boss’ boss is always a big treat. It shows your employee that you recognize his/her efforts and you’re making sure your boss knows about it too.

5. Hold an impromptu 10 minute stand up meeting – This could be no or low-cost depending on what you do, but I’ve called random 10 minute meetings in the afternoon and handed out popsicles or some other treat and taken the opportunity to tell team members “thank you” for their hard work. The surprise meeting, combined with a special treat, throws people out of their same ol’, same ol’ routine and keeps the boss/employee relationship fresh and energetic.

4. Reach out and touch someone – Yes, I’m plagiarizing the old Bell Telephone advertising jingle, but the concept is right on. Human touch holds incredible powers to communicate thankfulness and appreciation. In a team meeting one time, my manager took the time to physically walk around the table, pause behind each team member, place her hands on his/her shoulders, and say a few words about why she was thankful for that person. Nothing creepy or inappropriate, just pure love and respect. Unfortunately, most leaders shy away from appropriate physical contact in the workplace, fearful of harassment complaints or lawsuits. Whether it’s a handshake, high-five, or fist bump, find appropriate ways to communicate your thanks via personal touch.

3. Say “thank you” – This seems like a no-brainer given the topic, but you would be amazed at how many people tell me their boss doesn’t take the time to express thanks. Saying thank you is not only the polite and respectful thing to do, it signals to your people that they matter, they’re important, valuable, and most of all, you care.

2. Send a thank you note to an employee’s family – A friend of mine told me that he occasionally sends a thank you note to the spouse/significant other/family of an employee. He’ll say something to the effect of “Thank you for sharing your husband/wife/dad/mother with us and supporting the work he/she does. He/she a valuable contributor to our team and we appreciate him/her.” Wow…what a powerful way to communicate thankfulness!

…and the number one Easy, No to Low Cost Way to Tell Employees “Thank You” is…

1. Give a handwritten note of thanks – Some things never go out of style and handwritten thank you notes are one of them. Emails are fine, voice mails better (even made this list!), but taking the time to send a thoughtful, handwritten note says “thank you” like no other way. Sending handwritten letters or notes is a lost art in today’s electronic culture. When I want to communicate with a personal touch, I go old school with a handwritten note. It takes time, effort, and thought which is what makes it special. Your employees will hold on to those notes for a lifetime.

What other ways to say “thank you” would you add to this list? Please a share your thoughts by leaving a comment.

 35 Comments

 Posted on November 24, 2013 by

 Communication, Leadership, Management, Praising, Relationships, Trust

The ABCDs of Leading with Trust

ABCDThe world is in desperate need for a new kind of leadership. The type of leadership we’ve seen the last several decades has produced record low levels of trust and engagement in the workforce, so clearly what we’ve been doing isn’t working. We need a leadership philosophy grounded in the knowledge and belief that the most successful leaders and organizations are those that place an emphasis on leading with trust.

A critical step for leaders and organizations to take to realize the benefits of high levels of trust is to establish a common definition and framework of how to build trust. Most people think trust “just happens” in relationships. That’s a misconception. Trust is built through the intentional use of specific behaviors that, when repeated over time, create the condition of trust. Oddly enough, most leaders don’t think about trust until it’s broken. No one likes to think of himself or herself as untrustworthy so we take it for granted that other people trust us. To further complicate matters, trust is based on perceptions, so each of us has a different idea of what trust looks like. Organizations need a common framework and language that defines trust and allows people to discuss trust-related issues.

Research has shown that trust is comprised of four basic elements. To represent those four elements, or the “language” of trust, The Ken Blanchard Companies created the ABCD Trust Model—Able, Believable, Connected, and Dependable. For leaders to be successful in developing high-trust relationships and cultures, they need to focus on using behaviors that align with the ABCDs of trust.

Leaders build trust when they are:

Able—Being Able is about demonstrating competence. One way leaders demonstrate their competence is having the expertise needed to do their jobs. Expertise comes from possessing the right skills, education, or credentials that establish credibility with others. Leaders also demonstrate their competence through achieving results. Consistently achieving goals and having a track record of success builds trust with others and inspires confidence in your ability. Able leaders are also skilled at facilitating work getting done in the organization. They develop credible project plans, systems, and processes that help team members accomplish their goals.

Believable—A Believable leader acts with integrity. Dealing with people in an honest fashion by keeping promises, not lying or stretching the truth, and not gossiping are ways to demonstrate integrity. Believable leaders also have a clear set of values that have been articulated to their direct reports and they behave consistently with those values—they walk the talk. Finally, treating people fairly and equitably are key components to being a believable leader. Being fair doesn’t necessarily mean treating people the same in all circumstances, but it does mean that people are treated appropriately and justly based on their own unique situation.

Connected—Connected leaders show care and concern for people, which builds trust and helps to create an engaging work environment. Research by The Ken Blanchard Companies has identified “connectedness with leader” and “connectedness with colleague” as 2 of the 12 key factors involved in creating employee work passion, and trust is a necessary ingredient in those relationships. Leaders create a sense of connectedness by openly sharing information about themselves and the organization and trusting employees to use that information responsibly. Leaders also build trust by having a “people first” mentality and building rapport with those they lead. Taking an interest in people as individuals and not just as nameless workers shows that leaders value and respect their team members. Recognition is a vital component of being a connected leader, and praising and rewarding the contributions of people and their work builds trust and goodwill.

Dependable—Being Dependable and maintaining reliability is the fourth element of trust. One of the quickest ways to erode trust is by not following through on commitments. Conversely, leaders who do what they say they’re going to do earn a reputation as being consistent and trustworthy. Maintaining reliability requires leaders to be organized in such a way that they are able to follow through on commitments, be on time for appointments and meetings, and get back to people in a timely fashion. Dependable leaders also hold themselves and others accountable for following through on commitments and taking responsibility for the outcomes of their work.

By using the ABCD Trust Model, leaders can focus on the behaviors that build trust, and by sharing this model with those they lead, create a common framework and language for discussing issues of trust in the workplace.

Trust IncThis article is an excerpt from the chapter I wrote for Trust, Inc. – Strategies for Building Your Company’s Most Valuable Asset, a collaborative effort by 30+ thought leaders including Stephen M.R. Covey, Charles H. Green, James M. Kouzes, Barry Z. Posner, and edited by Barbara Brooks Kimmel of Trust Across America.

 60 Comments

 Posted on November 17, 2013 by

 ABCD Trust Model, Ability, Believability, Connectedness, Dependability, Leadership, Trust

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